on
using me and then ditching me, he wouldn’t have been the one to suggest it,
would he?
I also thought about Kelly. What she had told me—what
she had admitted—along with what Devon had confessed to me meant that I could
never trust her again. I hated to think that I could be friends with someone so
dishonest, and frankly crazy; it was insane of her to have tried to take
Devon’s ACT for him, and just as absurd to try and hold it over him for the
rest of his life, and then throw him under the bus once he got together with
someone seriously. I shook my head to myself, thinking about it as I went from
one class to another.
I would have to stay away from her, at least while Devon and I were preparing for him to re-take the test. I couldn’t trust myself not to let
something slip—and I couldn’t possibly trust Kelly not to figure out another
way to get at Devon somehow. Would I now be her enemy too, since I was with the
guy she had decided she needed to either have or get back at. What is wrong with her? It’s been so long
since they dated ; why would she still be
clinging to this? It didn’t make any sense to me that anyone would continue
so long after their relationship had ended.
The more I thought about it, the happier I was. It was
bizarre; there was so much stress, with the preparations for Devon to re-take
the ACT and everything else that was going on in my life. And yet, I was more
comfortable and at peace with my life than ever. If Kelly was going to get in
the way of that, there was no reason for me to keep being friends with there,
was there? I thought that if she was really going to be so horrible to me as
well as to Devon—if she couldn’t just be happy for me that I’d found someone,
and couldn’t just accept that it was never going to work with her and
Devon—then there must not be any reason to try and keep things up with her.
There was no reason to apologize, or to make up. If she was really going to lie
to me, and she didn’t feel bad about it or even want to make amends, then I must have been mistaken about what good
friends we had been before I’d even met Devon. She kept carping on how Devon was trying to use me … but she’s been using me all along. I could
give up on the friendship with her, as far as I was concerned. It might make
things a bit awkward with our circle of friends for a while, but if I just let
her fade into the background of my life, then things would just move forward.
It made me feel even better; I didn’t even have to worry about Kelly anymore if I didn’t want to be friends with
her.
Chapter
Three
That night, Devon and I went back to studying
together. It was almost strange to me, how much the rest of the guys simply
accepted the fact that I was hanging out in the frat house, spending time with
Devon. I felt as if I was almost one of them; as if it was just a simple fact
that Devon and I were together. I knew that some of the girls on campus—the
ones Devon had fooled around with in the past and the ones who wanted to ‘tame’
him themselves alike—envied me, but I thought that as long as they weren’t like
Kelly, I could live with a little jealousy.
We started in on the material that Devon was weakest
at, breaking it down into the different subjects and spending a little bit of
time on each one. I switched between the
books, picking the one I liked best overall to show Devon some tricks for the
English section of the test—it had the best tips for breaking down the
questions for that section—and one of the other three for the Math section. It
almost amazed me how much better Devon did on the practice tests for each
section after relatively little work. “You are way, way smarter than you
think,” I told him, showing him the scores he’d gotten.
“I have a great tutor,” Devon countered, kissing me
passionately. We took a break before diving into the reading section, talking
about what we would do together once all of the stress of him
Cassandra Clare, Maureen Johnson