Home Alone Read Free Page A

"We're leaving at nine A.M. On the button."
    "I heard on the news there's a cold front moving in accompanied by high winds," Aunt Leslie squeaked. "I hope the planes aren't delayed."
    "Are we taking the cars to the airport?" Heather asked.
    "No, the airport limos are going to pick us up," said Peter. . "It's cheaper than leaving three cars in long-term parking."
    Kevin wasn't listening. The first pizza box was on the kitchen counter, stuck in among the family passports and a plastic half-gallon milk container. He looked inside, but it was empty. As Kevin headed for the next box his mother came into the kitchen.
    "Is everyone drinking up the milk?" she asked. "I want to use it up so it doesn't go bad while we're away."
    "Does Santa have to go through customs?" asked Kevin's cousin Brooke, who was six and still sucked her thumb. No one answered her. Peter waved at Kate.
    "Honey? The pizza boy needs a hundred and twenty-two bucks," he said.
    "For pizza?" Kate looked shocked.
    "Ten pizzas times twelve bucks," Uncle Frank said, trying to be helpful.
    "Frank?" squeaked Aunt Leslie. "You have money, don't you?"
    "Uh, it's all in traveler's checks," Frank said. He popped open a can of Pepsi and poured it into Fuller's glass.
    "It's okay, we have cash," Kate said.
    By now Kevin had searched all ten pizza boxes. It seemed as if the impossible had occurred.
    "Didn't anyone order me a plain cheese pizza?" heasked.
    "Yeah," said Buzz, his mouth Packed with pizza. "But if you want any, somebody's gonna have to barf theirs up because it's all gone."
    Kevin glared at Buzz. The girls at the table were giggling. Laughing at me, Kevin thought. All they do is laugh at me.
    "Hey, Kevin, got a plate?" Buzz asked. Then he opened his mouth and crossed his eyes like he was going to barf.
    The girls giggled louder. Kevin felt his cheeks start to burn. That was it! That was just it . Kevin charged Buzz and knocked his plate of
    pizza slices off the table. As Buzz lunged to catch the slices his elbow hit the plastic milk container on the counter. Milk spilled all over the family's passports.
    "The passports!" Peter shouted, jumping up to grab them.
    Kevin felt someone grab him, too. It was his mother.
    "Napkins," Aunt Leslie was squealing. "Get napkins!"
    Everyone was shouting. Uncle Frank slipped and got milk all over his shirt. Peter was holding the passports over the sink, letting the milk drip off them. Kevin tried to fight his way out of his mother's grip, but she held on tight and started to shake him angrily.
    "What's the matter with you?" she shouted.
    "He started it!" Kevin pointed at Buzz. "He ate my pizza on purpose. He knows I hate sausage and onions and—"
    "Look what you did, you little jerk!" Uncle Frank shouted, holding out his wet shirt.
    "You get upstairs!" Kate yelled and shook Kevin. "Right this minute!"
    "Why?" Kevin shouted back.
    "Because you're a disease!" yelled Tracy.
    "Shut up!" Kevin yelled at her.
    "Get upstairs!" Peter yelled.
    Kevin felt his mother yank him by the collar out of the kitchen. He hated them. Every single one!

    * * *
    "Sounds like a real war," said the pizza boy. Harry nodded and looked at his watch. He was gonna have a war of his own if he didn't get back in the van pretty soon.
    Just then an attractive lady came toward them dragging that creepy kid. Harry smoothed his hair back.
    "I'm so sorry you had to wait," Kate told the pizza boy. With one hand she kept a firm hold on Kevin. With the other, she handed the boy the pizza money.
    "Nice Tip," said the pizza boy. "Have a merry Christmas." He left.
    "Uh, ma'am," Harry said, trying to sound super polite.
    Kate turned to him. She had a lot on her mind and couldn't deal with anything extra right now. "Look, I'm awfully sorry," she said, "but if it's for some police charity I'm afraid this just isn't the right time. We're all going out of town tomorrow and it's just crazy around here. My husband's brother was transferred to Paris during the summer and his