out your hands,â he ordered.
Smiling, she did so, until she felt the soft touch of fur in her palm, and opened her eyes to find a small teddy bear. She gave an excited squeal and rubbed him against her cheek. âNow, thatâs a real present,â she said. â Much better than diamonds.â
There seemed little in the toy to explain her delight. Six inches tall, with beady eyes and nylon fur, he was like athousand other cheap trinkets, but Dee was overwhelmed with joy.
âDo you remember the first one I gave you?â Mark asked fondly.
For answer, she reached under her pillow and produced another toy bear. Once, long ago, he might have been like the new one, but now all his fur had worn away, he was shabby and mended at the seams.
âHeâs still here,â Dee said, holding him up. âI never let him get far away.â
âYou talk as though he was alive and trying to escape.â
âHe is alive, and he knows he can never escape me,â she said, looking at her husband with meaning. âThat night you said youâd given him to me so that I didnât forget you. I loved you so much that nothing in the world could have made me forget you, but you didnât know that.â
âI took too long to understand,â he agreed. âSo many things I didnât see until it was nearly too late.â
âBut I always had my Mad Bruin,â she said, indicating the threadbare toy.
âMad Bruin,â he said, taking the bear from her and holding him up to consider him. âI remember when you called me that. You were so angry. You were an impressive woman when you got really mad. Still are.â
âYou scared me, doing something so stupid,â she recalled. âYou were the real Mad Bruin. Mad as a hatter, always doing something no sensible man would have done.â
âAnd we both got told off,â he remembered, addressing the toy.
She held both of the tiny bears together. âHeâll enjoy having a companion. Iâm glad you gave me this. It was a lovely thing to think of. I thought youâd forgotten all about Bruin.â
âNo, I didnât forget, but I noticed that you keep him hidden away.â
âNobody else would understand.â
âNobody but us,â he agreed.
She slipped both toys under her pillow. Mark turned out the lamp and they settled down together in the darkness. She felt his arms go around her, while her head found its natural place on his shoulder.
âBliss,â he mused. âThis is what Iâve been waiting for all evening. Everyone is kind to us, but they donât understand. They just never know.â
âNo,â she murmured. âOnly we know, but only we need to know.â
âGoodnight, my darling.â
âGoodnight.â
After a moment she heard the change in his breathing that meant he was asleep. But she wasnât ready to sleep. The evening had revived sixty years of memories and now they seemed to be there, dancing in the darkness.
The old man beside her disappeared, leaving only the dazzling young hero of long ago. How stunned sheâd been by her first experience of love, blissful if he smiled at her, despairing because she knew he could never he hers.
Slowly she raised herself on one elbow to look down on him in gentle adoration. He awoke at once.
âWhat is it?â he asked quickly. âIs something wrong?â
âNothing,â she reassured him, settling back into his arms. âGo to sleep.â
Content, he closed his eyes again. But she did not sleep. She lay looking into the distance, remembering
CHAPTER TWO
December 1938
âA NY sign of them yet?â Helen Parsonsâ voice sang out from the kitchen.
Dee, her seventeen-year-old daughter, paused from studying a box of Christmas decorations and went to the window. The narrow London street outside seemed empty, but the darkness made it hard to see far so she slipped