his list of things he would need for the trip. Roland had always been thorough to a fault. It was unlike him to deviate from his usual pattern.
Of course, she reminded herself, she had no way of knowing what his usual pattern was anymore. She had no right to the information. No right to spy on his intended destination. “Initiate trace program and give me a visual.”
“It is against the rules and regulations implemented by—”
“Blah, blah.” She cut off the tinny automated voice. In her line of work, she was well aware of all the laws enacted in order to give citizens a feeling of safety. She also knew it was a complete illusion. “How about I have you dismantled and installed in a Mickey Mouse doll so you can navigate a family of four on their annual trip around Disneyworld?”
The map vanished and was replaced with an image of the interior of Roland’s rental conveyance. He sat quietly with his hands folded together behind his neck as the automatic controls maneuvered him through the busy streets of the city. His head tilted down to show he was deep in thought.
Even though it was only an opaque image suspended in midair in front of her, the high level of anxiety read clearly in his body. Muscles appeared to be strung tight beneath the surface of his skin as tension sat heavy in his shoulders, bleeding down to saturate his broad chest. He still kept his black hair cut short in military regulation, though the hair on the sides near his temple had started to go gray. His icy-blue eyes were unfocused as he stared at nothing in particular. The famous thousand-yard stare she’d learned about in those first days of their first meeting.
His black suit wasn’t the uniform she was used to seeing him wear, but it appeared to have been starched to within an inch of its life. His well-put-together appearance stood as a clear indication the military was still infused in the marrow of Roland’s bones despite his retirement.
Once a Marine, always a Marine.
Never had she believed it more than she did staring at the image before her. She wanted to do what she could to give him an outlet for the stress reading so clearly in his body. She also missed him and the couple they made when they were together. The fire and passion they had for one another when their personalities had violently clashed. Then she remembered how he’d walked away from her. The warm fuzzy feeling spreading in her body froze.
She turned away from the image in disgust. “Screen off.”
The people who’d been taken hostage needed Roland and his skill set. He could get in there quickly and quietly, rescue the team and bring the group safely back home to their families. Given his agitation, he clearly knew he was their last hope. That level of stress had to be hard on anyone. The fact he was one of the strongest people she’d ever known and shaken so visibly unsettled her.
Once again, the desire to go to him reared its head.
Cursing, she pushed away from the table. At the door, she passed her hand over the control plate. A group of employees, their faces streaked with sadness, had gathered near an associate’s desk. Normally she would have torn them all new assholes for wasting their time, but they simply earned a perfunctory nod from her as she passed. There were more important things to deal with at the moment.
She slid behind the wheel of her own car, the computer system acknowledging her with a soft beep. “Destination, Ms. Braddock?”
“Falls Church, Virginia. Van Winkle Drive.” As soon as the order slipped off her tongue, she knew she’d made a mistake. “Cancel route.” The car halted, idling quietly on the exit ramp of the parking garage.
She couldn’t see him or talk to him more than she already had. Not after he’d been the one to leave. That night still painted vivid scars on her mind. It was the night she’d asked him to stay and he’d abandoned her. For that alone, he deserved her cold shoulder in any personal