Heart-Shaped Hack Read Free Page B

the men who looked at her profile to know exactly the type of woman they’d be meeting. Apparently it wasn’t enough, because Kent had sent not one but two messages yesterday asking for additional clarification.
    Do you count calories or follow a specific diet plan? he’d asked. What the hell was that all about? Frankly, she sometimes ate like a truck driver because she was hungry, dammit. And hunger was a bit of a hot button for Kate, considering she spent her days making sure people got enough to eat. That message was followed up with What kind of clothing would you say highlights your best features? What did that even mean, and why did he care what kind of clothes she wore?
    Ian likes short skirts, and that didn’t seem to bother you .
    Ian just liked to push her buttons. And besides, Ian was no longer in the picture.
    Kate glanced at her watch discreetly. Kent was now five minutes late. Just then her phone vibrated to signal an incoming e-mail. Kent was probably reaching out to let her know he was running behind. Very thoughtful.
    She opened her e-mail and smiled. The message was from Kent.
    I changed my mind. I’m not interested.
    What?
    In addition to confusing, Kate found the message rude and unacceptable and fired off a reply.
    You’re a tool.
    His response came ten seconds later.
    You’re just bitter because you’re fat.
    Kate stared down at her phone as if it somehow held an explanation for the bizarre exchange. She was so deep in thought that the scrape of a chair being pulled back startled her.
    “It would never have worked out,” Ian said, sitting down across from her. “You were already fighting over e-mail.”
    “We were not fighting. We were having a discussion. And how would you know?”
    “Loves cooking, animals, and long hikes in the woods? Please . Do you want to know what Kent really loves? Threesomes. Kent loves threesomes. Also hard-core porn and occasionally cocaine. Is this the dating pool you want to swim around in? I mean really, Katie.”
    “Oh my God. You did not .”
    “I’m going to order us a drink. A bourbon sounds excellent on this crisp fall afternoon.” Ian signaled for the waiter. “Against my better judgment, I’ll order you a glass of wine. According to your credit card statement, you had a staggering amount of chardonnay delivered to your apartment last month. I think you might want to take one of those ‘Could I Be an Alcoholic’ quizzes the next time you come across one, just to see what it says.”
    Kate logged on to her online dating account. Her profile picture had undergone a significant change because she now had two chins and giant puffy cheeks. Even her eyelids looked bloated.
    “You FatBoothed me?”
    “He seemed awfully concerned with your figure. That just goes to show what kind of man he is. Already micromanaging your wardrobe and diet before he’s even met you. If he had just been patient, he would have seen you in person and realized he had nothing to worry about. It’s his loss.”
    Kate peered closer. “What is that above my lip?”
    “It’s a mustache. You dark-haired girls have to be so careful about that kind of thing.” Ian gave their drink order to the waiter.
    Kate didn’t speak. Her brain was trying to process how everything had gone so wrong in such a short amount of time.
    “Katie? Are you okay?” He sounded genuinely concerned. “On a scale of one to ten, how mad at me are you, with one being you still like me and ten being you’d like to castrate me with a pair of rusty scissors?”
    “When did I ever say I liked you?”
    “It was subtly implied.”
    “All I’m trying to do is find a nice guy to spend time with,” Kate said, stunned. “It should not be this hard.”
    The waiter brought their drinks. Kate picked up her wineglass and took a rather large gulp. She started to set it down, changed her mind, and took another drink.
    “Can I be honest with you?” Ian asked.
    “I don’t know, can you?” Kate leaned forward,