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easier, though I was surprised that in his snooping around town about me he hadn’t heard several versions of how Alison and her mother happened to live in my barn.
    Rose said, “Do you own a gun?”
    â€œWhy?”
    â€œSomething small you could carry with you?”
    â€œWhat for?”
    â€œThis guy Mrs. Long is seeing has been known to get a little violent.”
    â€œA little violent. You mean like if he gets pissed off because he sees a man in the woods taking his picture through the window?”
    â€œObviously, the best thing is don’t get caught. But just in case, you might be well advised to be prepared.”
    I slid his money across the desk, toward him. “I feel well advised to turn down the job. Thank you very much. If you’re ever in the market for a home in Newbury, please call for an appointment. As you know, Abbott Realty has a lock on the older, finer, bigger places.” I stood up and extended my hand.
    Rose looked appalled. “Wait a minute. We have a deal.”
    â€œWe have not shaken on it. You put money on my desk and then tell me I need a gun. There was no gun in the original deal. So we don’t have a deal.”
    â€œThe gun was just an idea. Some people like guns. Obviously, you don’t.”
    â€œI love guns. I admire good machinery. If I wanted to shoot people I would be a policeman. Goodbye, Rose. You got the wrong guy.”
    I felt relieved. The more I thought about taking pictures of some poor couple making love, the more it sounded like a lousy way to earn a buck. Even five thousand bucks.
    Rose looked sick, like a guy who had blown a really big deal. That was puzzling because what the hell were we talking about, but a silly little job anybody who wanted to could do? In fact, he seemed so worried and upset that I got curious. “Are you Long’s investigator for everything, or just the divorce?”
    â€œAnything he needs.”
    What I was beginning to understand was that Rose was a high-priced gofer, the sort that guys who can afford to keep around for convenience. In this case, he’d get the video and dig up other stuff in New York and then carry their evidence to a shark divorce attorney, who’d hint that maybe Mrs. Long would forgo her half of the stock option. At least that was how men got out of marriage when I worked on the Street.
    Rose proved to be a shrewd, high-priced gofer worth his fee. He grinned. “Your little neighbor needs braces.”
    â€œWhat?” I can usually count on my face not to advertise what I’m thinking, but when the detective came that far from left field, I must have looked as dumbfounded as the hero of a Ross Perot infomercial. I didn’t know what the hell Alison’s teeth had to do with a sexy home video.
    Rose, however, saw a connection he could run with. “The little girl who lives in your barn needs her teeth fixed before she grows up ugly.”
    I regained control of my face, but not the situation. He was right. Alison made a cute tomboy, but she would end up hiding her smile as she got older. “So?”
    â€œI got a client who’s the absolutely number-one orthodontist in New York City. East Side parents register their kids at conception to get an appointment. You do the job, I’ll take care of the girl’s teeth, transportation down to New York, visits on the weekends at his country house in New Milford. Whatever works. We’re talking thousands here, fella, if you had to pay for it.”
    Many thousands.
    â€œWho is this guy?”
    â€œWhat guy?”
    â€œThat Mrs. Long is sleeping with.”
    â€œJust a guy. Somebody she and her husband have known a long time.”
    â€œWhat’s his name?”
    â€œYou don’t need to know, fella. None of your damned business.”
    I made a point of looking very dubious.
    Rose laughed. “What, you think maybe I’m setting you up to video somebody