Hard to Hold on To Read Free Page A

that?
    Noise at the front of the apartment drew his gaze again. Jeremy carried a small black lamp with a plain white shade. When he got close enough, he reached for the bedroom doorknob.
    Easy held out a hand. “I’ll take care of it. Uh, thanks,” he added, to cushion the edge on his tone.
    “Yeah, sure.” Jer turned away, then stopped and looked over his shoulder. “I don’t know exactly what happened out there, but I wanted to say you guys did good tonight.”
    Maybe. But Easy could never do good enough to make up for the past.
    For not having his best friend’s back when it mattered.
    For not getting to Marcus in time.
    For being helpless to do a damn thing as the life bled out of his teammate’s gut and eyes.
    Meeting the younger Rixey’s gaze, Easy forced himself to nod. “Overdue for a win,” he managed around the knot in his throat, gripping the lamp’s pole so hard he feared he might break the damn thing.
    “Yeah,” Jeremy said, then left.
    Easy gasped for air and tried to see the beige wall in front of him instead of the goulash that had been what remained of his friend’s intestines. Abdominal wounds were fucking messy like that.
    “I’m done, E. Tell her I love . . .”
    Those last words were a brand on Easy’s soul. He turned his body toward the wall and banged his head against the surface. Once. Twice. Three times.
    When his lungs managed an in-out again, Easy figured that was as good as it was gonna get. Not waiting for the memories to replay once more, he pushed into Jenna’s room—louder than he should’ve, but she didn’t budge—and plugged the lamp into the outlet next to the bed.
    He turned away again, but his gaze got snagged on Jenna’s face, which lured him in. Stepping closer, Easy bent down, needing to see her chest rise and fall with his own eyes. Proof of life.
    Wake up. Wake up and give me a hard time. Anything. Just give me your eyes.
    She didn’t, of course.
    But Easy didn’t miss the fact that the tightness in his chest eased off when he was close to her like this. Not that he was gonna be a creeper and sit in here and watch her sleep.
    Stalking toward the door, he flicked off the overhead. From its position on the floor, the little lamp threw a much gentler glow over that corner of the room.
    Pulling the door most of the way shut, Easy slid down against the doorjamb, putting his ear at the opening in case she cried out and his body between Jenna and the rest of the world.
    Just in fucking case.

Chapter 2
    E ASY RIPPED OUT of the nightmare like the images in his subconscious were about to wrap their bony fingers around his throat. He was as disoriented as he was surprised he’d fallen asleep in the first place. Ass numb, back screaming, neck kinked, he shook his head in an effort to beat it all back.
    A distressed whimper. Then another.
    The sound worked where the physical motion hadn’t. Easy was immediately and clearly awake.
    Jenna.
    He was off the cement and beside her in an instant.
    Blue eyes flashed up to him with such fear and pain that it reached inside his chest and squeezed his heart.
    Easy crouched by the bedside and held up his hands. “Jenna, it’s Easy. Remember? You’re all right. My guys—the ones you met the other night—we got you back. You’re at a safe place. Sara’s here, and she’s okay, too,” he rushed out in a soft voice.
    Her eyes narrowed and darted from focusing on his face to a quick survey of her surroundings and back again. “E-E-Eas,” she rasped, her voice a dry scrape.
    Relief shot through his veins. “Yeah.”
    “Eas-y,” she whispered. And then she threw her upper body off the edge of the bed and caught him around the neck. “Th-thank you,” she said in a strangled tone.
    Moisture where her cheek pressed against his. Trembling shoulders. Thick swallows. Jenna’s crying both gutted Easy and built him up—because she didn’t fear him. Instead, she’d turned to him for comfort. Yet she cried so quietly that he