Guess Who I Pulled Last Night? Read Free Page A

Grant.
    “Sorry Gyant.”  Archie lowered his head, not able to
look at his victim, and then started to cry. “Sorry Mummy,” he sobbed.
    Ken suddenly stood up at the head of the table; he spread
his arms out wide. “Stop!” He bellowed.  “Everyone be quiet and get this
mess sorted.  Kathleen, sort the carpet, Charlotte, take Grant upstairs
and sort him out…Thomas less of your smuttiness please, and Amanda, take Archie
into the kitchen and calm him down.  Dave, well you just carry on drinking
your wine.”
    “Ooh Ken, that’s the second time today you’ve been all
masterful,” gushed Kathleen.
    “What?” asked Amanda, looking at Tom quizzically.
    “Don’t ask,” he replied, leaning over to take the bottle of
wine from Dave.  “Hey Dave, give me some of that wine, I feel a bit better
now.”
    An hour later, after everything and everyone had been
cleaned up, Ken decided that it would be a good idea if the men went to the pub
for a couple of hours.  Charlotte waved them off from the doorway,
worrying how on earth Grant would manage with her dad and Tom without her;
hopefully Dave would look after him.  As she went back into the lounge
Amanda erupted into howls of laughter.
    “What?” Charlotte asked.  “What, may I ask, is so
funny?”
    “Oh Charlotte, you have to admit, it’s been hilarious.” 
Amanda wiped the tears of laughter from her cheeks.
    “No I don’t because it isn’t.  And you Archie, why are
you being such a little horror?  Oh Mum what a mess!” she cried.
    “I know dear, all over my carpet.”
    “Not your bloody carpet! Bloody Grant, his bloody clothes,
the whole bloody situation.”
    “Less bloodys, please Charlotte.”  Kathleen grimaced,
as she folded away the table cloth.
    Amanda moved over, she put a comforting hand on Charlotte’s
shoulder.  “You have to admit, he did look a picture, with that food
sliding down his face, and when it landed in his crotch…I thought he was going
to explode.”  With that she erupted into laughter again, this time with
Kathleen and Archie joining in; even Charlotte had a little grin to herself.
    Later that evening it was time for Grant to leave; a
pleasant hour in the pub telling everyone about his “classic car” had lifted
his spirits somewhat.  Standing in the kitchen with Charlotte, he was
quite chipper and considered the visit to have gone well.
    “I’m sorry about earlier,” said Charlotte, burying her head
into his chest.
    “No probs babe, kids like me and think that I want to play
all the time.  Anyway, do you know where your mum put my coat?” 
Charlotte looked around. She spotted it on the back of a kitchen chair.
    “There you go,” she said, passing it over to Grant.
    “Now, where did I put the keys to Caprice?”  He smacked
his hands against his pockets, Charlotte groaned inwardly at the pet name for
his car.  “Ah here in my pocket…urgh what the hell is that?” Grant pulled
out his keys, which along with his hand, were covered in something dark brown
and sloppy.
    As Charlotte and Grant both started to gag, Amanda walked in
carrying some dirty coffee mugs.  “Oh no, sorry Grant, I wondered what
Archie had done with his chocolate mousse!”
    Grant’s relationship with the Price family continued in the
same vein throughout the eleven months that he and Charlotte were
together.  They all tried to like him, for Charlotte’s sake, but each time
they met him his treatment of Charlotte, and the way he acted, was worse than
the time before. He either ignored Charlotte completely, or laughed at what she
had to say.  Everyone noticed that as time went on Charlotte stopped
giving an opinion.  Grant seemed to do all the talking for them.
    On one occasion, at a family barbeque, Grant told Charlotte
not to put too much on her plate.  He said she was starting to put weight
on; he didn’t want a “hefty bird on his arm."  Charlotte was
mortified, but tried to hide her embarrassment by laughing it