Gravity Box and Other Spaces Read Free Page B

nerve.”
    â€œNo, it’s—I was going to say I’m not married because I never found the right person.”
    â€œBut—?”
    â€œBut the truth is I always find the right person. I just don’t know what to do next.”
    Bert frowned. “I don’t follow.”
    â€œNeither do I.”
    â€œYou’ve never asked anyone to marry you?”
    â€œIt—no. And, they’ve never asked me, either. It’s like we meet and everything goes along just right, and things are perfect, couldn’t get any better. Just at the point where I should say or do something to make it last, somehow it slides by and fades away. I never know.”
    She looked skeptical. “You ain’t one of them men who just can’t make a commitment?”
    â€œNo, I’m willing to commit. It just never comes up. It just never comes up—”
    His voice trailed off, and in the next instant Egan found himself holding her, shaking, terrified, his breath shuddering in and out.
    What? What?
    He couldn’t make any sense of what he was doing. He felt foolish, and then embarrassment took over, until he just felt bitter and angry. Bert patted his back and wrapped an arm around his head and rocked him as if he were a child.
    â€œI’m sorry, hon,” Bert said over and over. “I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry.”
    He pulled away and gazed at the rack of CDs. He swallowed hard, amazed at himself.
    Just what the hell is this all about?
he thought, then laughed to break the silence. He did not give in to his urge to run out the door.
    â€œIt’s been crazy around here for weeks,” Bert said. “I shoulda known better. Lemme see about that coffee.”
    â€œCrazy—yeah—ever since Brice Miller’s wife ran off, I bet.”
    â€œOh, that’s just local talk,” Bert answered from the kitchen. She came back with two mugs of steaming coffee. “People here have to explain everything. When things go wrong for no good reason, they make one up. But damn if it ain’t a persuasive argument. Seems like everything just started fallin’ apart after she run off.”
    â€œI met Brice. My impression was that she may have had good reason to run off.” This felt better. This felt normal.
    â€œOh, that’s a fact. He’s a first-rate asshole. Where’d you meet him?”
    â€œFirst day, up where I’m staying, he just came out of the woods to tell me not to let his wife in. It seems like everybody is concerned about him getting her back, though.”
    â€œThey say if she gets out everything will dry up and blow away.”
    Egan wiped his eyes, grateful for the bizarre conversation. His outburst seemed to be fading away to some distant place that was not part of him.
    â€œHow is that supposed to work?”
    â€œEsther Miller is supposed to be a spirit or the embodiment of one, like the life force of the county. As long as she stays, there’s life. As long as she’s kept in line, there’s prosperity. I know, I know, don’t look at me that way. I’m just tellin’ you what folks around here believe.”
    â€œI take it you’re not from around here?”
    â€œNot originally. I moved here about eight years ago from Topeka.” She frowned, thoughtful. “I came through here on vacation and the place was a shambles. Farms were failin’. There was drought one season, floods the next. People were movin’. Some were dyin’. The Pumphandle was up for sale. I won’t tell you the price. You’d think I was a thief. I bought it ’cause I gotta cousin in the highway department. He told me a new interstate was planned to go through.” A dark smile crossed over her face. “Well, that didn’t work out, but I stuck with it. Brice Miller got married the next year.”
    â€œTo Esther?”
    â€œTo Esther. And damn if things didn’t improve. For about five