GRANDMA? Part 1 (YA Zombie Serial Novel) Read Free Page A

questioning the historicity of the gospels concerning Christ, specifically the assertions of his divinity without any corroboration outside of the canon."
    From the mouths of babes.
    "There are mentions of Jesus by historians Josephus and Tacitus," I said.
    "Both those sources are hotly debated on the secular web."
    "We're about to die, Josh. Let's stop talking about religion."
    "Isn't that the best time to talk about it?"
    I stared at him. "How old are you again?"
    "Look, Randall, I'm just saying that maybe Jesus is real, and a zombie, and he bit a bunch of people and started an epidemic."
    "So where have all the zombies been for the past two thousand years?"
    He pursed his lips. "Wyoming."
    "Wyoming?"
    "It's the least populated state, but it's big, almost a hundred thousand square miles. Lots of room for zombies."
    "I don't think the zombies came from Wyoming," I said.
    "How do you know? Have you been to Wyoming?"
    "No."
    "Has anyone we know been to Wyoming?"
    "What does that have to do with anything?"
    "We don't have any first party proof, only hearsay, that there aren't any zombies in Wyoming. Plus, it's the only state that's a rectangle. It would be easy to put a big fence around the state, keep the zombies in. But maybe the fence broke."
    Josh was obvious hysterical, talking nonsense.
    "Wyoming is not the only rectangle state," I insisted. "How about Utah?"
    "That's got that funny little square on the upper left hand corner."
    "North Dakota," I said.
    "Squiggly edge on the east side."
    "New Mexico."
    "Square thing on the bottom, left side."
    I closed my eyes, tried to picture a map of the US. Michigan looked like a mitten. Wisconsin looked like broccoli. Louisiana like a boot. Florida… well, Florida looked sort of like a schlong.
    "Colorado," I finally said.
    Josh's face scrunched up. "You're right. That's a rectangle."
    "Told you."
    "Maybe they keep zombies in Colorado, too."
    "I hear you boys in there, debating theology and geography," Grandma bellowed through the door. "Stop it and let your poor grandmother in. She's starving."
    "How about your pocket candy?" Josh asked her.
    There was a pause. Then, "Randall ate it all."
    Josh turned to me, angry. "You ate all the candy, Randall? You a-word!"
    "I didn't eat the candy, Josh."
    "Smell his breath, Josh," Grandma said. "Smells like peppermints, I bet."
    "Let me smell your breath, Randall."
    "That's insane!" I yelled, covering my mouth. I had eaten a peppermint a little while before Grandma had gotten attacked, and the scent might have still been on me. The last thing we needed right now was to argue.
    "He took it all," Grandma said, "and when I told him to save some for his little brother, he said Josh stinks like poopy."
    "I don't stink like poopy!" Josh yelled at me.
    "I didn't say that, Josh. Can't you see what she's doing? Grandma is trying to drive us apart."
    "Open the door, Josh!" Grandma screeched. "Then I can give Randall a spanking!"
    I could see Josh was considering it. I had to find a way to save us, fast, before he betrayed me and got us both killed. My eyes searched the laundry room for some sort of weapon. All I saw were laundry supplies. I didn't think fabric softener would help in this situation. But above the supply shelf was…
    A window.
    It was only half size, leading into the window well right outside the kitchen. Josh and I liked to go in there sometimes because it always had awesome animals in it, like salamanders and frogs and mice.
    "C'mon," I told my brother, grabbing his hand. "We're getting out of here."
    I told him to climb the shelf and open the window. Josh surprised me by doing it without complaint.
    BOOM!
    The banging had resumed. I chanced a look at the door and saw one of the three hinges had fallen off.
    "Hurry up, Josh."
    "Randall!" he squealed.
    "What?" I stared up at him, alarmed.
    "There's a mouse nest in here! It's awesome!"
    "We don't have time now, little brother."
    "The mouse has a bunch of babies."
    "Really? Lemme see." I