Good Medicine Read Free Page A

gentle. Jordan managed to choke out her name, adding that she was an Emerg physician, and without even asking her to fill in any forms, the nurse guided Jordan to a tiny private room with a cot and a chair. She helped her lie down, covering her with a blanket.
    Jordan curled into a ball, too exhausted and spent to resist the emotions coursing through her. After a time, the door opened and Helen Moore, the resident psychiatrist, came in. Jordan knew her slightly, and had always liked her kind smile and forthright manner.
    â€œHi, Jordan.” Helen sat down beside the cot and reached for one of Jordan’s hands. She took it gently, cradling it between both of hers. “Can you tell me what’s made you so upset?”
    Jordan tried, but it was impossible to talk through the tears. Helen reached for a box of tissues and handed over a fistful. “Try to take deep breaths.”
    After a few moments, Jordan was able to put words together. “My hus-husband is—is a drug addict,” she began. Once she’d said the words aloud, it became easier to tell the rest of the story. She began with the car accident, the morphine, the prescriptions she’d written him and, when she’d refused to supply him, how the apartment was ransacked. Amid fresh bouts of weeping, she managed to recount what had occurred the previous night in the E.R.
    â€œWhat—what about—about—Garry? What am I going to do about him? How—how can I—help him?”
    â€œThis is not about him,” Helen said firmly. “This is about you, Jordan. What are you going to do about you? ”
    Helen’s words shocked Jordan out of her tears. For so long, she’d exhausted herself worrying about Garry and his problems, believing that if only she could help him stop taking drugs, their life together might work.
    â€œGarry is an adult, making choices about the way he lives his life,” Helen continued. “Do you want to go on allowing him to make those same choices for your life? You’re an exceptional physician with a great reputation at this hospital, Jordan, and I know you to be a good and caring person.” Her kind face broke into a mischievous smile. “Lord knows you’re good to look at. I’ve seen men fall over their feet like schoolboys when you’re around.”
    Jordan started to cry again. It had been so long since anyone had complimented her. When she’d first met Garry, she’d felt confident and even pretty. Now she felt gray and old. And ashamed, so ashamed of not being able to control herself.
    Helen gave her hand a comforting squeeze. “I thinkyou need to value your own worth, Jordan, and go from there. The scene last night in the E.R. was hard, but sometimes it takes a hard lesson for us to see we’re on a path that isn’t the most beneficial for us.” Helen smiled again and released Jordan’s hand. “I’ve had my share of those tough lessons, I know how much they hurt. But they also help us heal. Right now I’m going to give you a sedative because you need to rest. We’ll talk again.”
    â€œI feel so—so stupid,” Jordan admitted, her voice trembling. “You’d think I could cope with this on my own. It’s humiliating to admit that I can’t.”
    â€œWe—all of us—are only human, Jordan. Being doctors means we start out with a higher level of daily stress, and then we have our own personal stuff on top of it. As a profession, medicine carries the highest rate of alcohol dependency, drug addiction, divorce and suicide. Coming here shows good judgment and common sense. And no one needs to know you’re here.”
    Jordan blew her nose. “Thank you. That would make things easier.”
    â€œI’ll have a word with the staff. Now, I think rest is the best restorative at the moment.” She gave Jordan a sedative and gently tucked the blanket around her.