Good & Dead #1 Read Free Page A

they’d ever had and he didn’t know where else to look. 
    “It wasn’t that bad,” she said. “Just this guy,” she said, pulling Tom over by the arm, “making my life miserable.”
    “I made it a night to remember!” Tom said boldly. Then, mock-afraid, he added, “I’ll do better next time.  I promise.”
    “You better,” she said as Tom wandered away through the crowd.
    “Hey, lady!” Randy said in a voice that was brazenly loud even for him, brandishing his empty cup at them.  “This party is fun!  I haven’t even thought about my midterms once!”
    “You okay, Randy?” Michael asked.
    “I got to tell YOU a secret!” Randy yelled, turning to Michael and leaning in, “Man, I was standing right there listening to you two talk, and…”
    “Randy, that’s not a whisper—“ Michael began, but Randy cut him off.
    “And!  It was so funny.  You…” he paused to look into his empty cup, “You lost your stage virginity, and she lost her directing virginity.  It was SO HARD not to come over here and be like: Hey!  You both lost your vinginerty on the same night!  That’s a hard word.  Virgnininty.”
    “Wouldn’t that have been funny?” he asked, turning to Charlotte.
    “Yes,” Charlotte said calmly, accepting Randy’s friendly embrace.  “It would have been very…funny” Charlotte half held him up and reached into his jacket pocket at the same time, taking his keys.
    “Cutest pickpocket ever!” Randy yelled.  Several people nearby turned to look at them.
    “Thank you,” Charlotte said, the corners of her mouth twitching up in annoyance.  “This was meant to be an alcohol-free evening, Randy,” she said, putting Randy’s keys in the pocket of her green cardigan.
    “Really, man,” Randy said to Michael, “I can’t blame you.”
    “Randy, What are you doing?” Michael asked sternly. 
    Randy laughed.  “You are so….you know what you are?  You’re a chicken!  Man!”  Without warning Randy turned and kissed Charlotte full on the mouth.
    Before Michael knew what was happening he was grabbing his best friend by the back of the collar and dragging him by his armpits across the room.  “Are you okay?” he asked Charlotte as he backed away.
    Charlotte wiped Randy slobber off her face.  “I’m fine,” she said, clearly lying.  The other girls swarmed in to console her.  They glared at Michael and at Randy, who was laughing stupidly, still gripping his red cup. 
    Michael tried to get out of there as quickly as he could, but Randy was quite heavy, and he kept grabbing chairs and dragging them along.  “Stop it, you jerk!” Michael yelled, trying to keep his grip on his fat friend.  Everyone was staring at them.
    Randy didn’t stop laughing until the back door of the theater slammed shut behind them.  Michael deposited him on the curb and walked toward the street to hail a cab.
    “What is your problem?” Michael asked angrily.
    “Why didn’t you punch me?” Randy asked from the curb.
    “What?  Why would I—“ Michael began. “You’ve got to be kidding me.  You’re not drunk are you?”
    “Of course not,” Randy said, getting on his feet, “You were supposed to punch me!”
    “You’re crazy!” Michael sputtered, walking back toward the building. “That doesn’t even make any sense!”
    “You could have been the hero, man.” Randy walked past Michael to the street and caught the attention of a passing cab. “But instead you’re out here with me.  I’d say you’re the crazy one.”
    “I can’t believe you’re mad because I didn’t punch you!” Michael yelled, meeting Randy at the curb.
    Randy paused before closing the cab door in Michael’s face.  “Goodnight, nerd.”
    Michael turned back toward the tiny parking lot, fuming. 
    He is out of his mind, Michael thought, kicking a soda can into the narrow alley next to the theatre.  After a couple minutes he realized he was going to have to go back inside to get his bag.