Goddess for Hire Read Free Page A

gasped.
    â€œYes,” Ram said seriously.
    Talk about dharma…

Chapter 5
    AFTER THE INITIAL SHOCK of hearing I was a born-again goddess, my head cleared and I realized I was possibly in the company of two of the craziest men this side of the Himalayas. “I don’t believe in reincarnation. How come everybody’s a prince or princess in their past life? Someone had to have been a chambermaid or a dung beetle. Can you explain that?”
    Ram adopted a very thoughtful expression and scratched his chin. “No, I cannot. I have not attained full enlightenment yet. When I reach that stage I will surely tell you the answer.”
    I rolled my eyes. “Can you at least get rid of these restraints? Or do I have to wait for you to attain Nirvana for that, too?”
    â€œDo you promise not to slaughter us with the force of your divine wrath?”
    I shrugged. “Sure.”
    Ram nodded to Sanjay, who quickly began untying the ropes. After they were removed I toyed with the ideaof lunging at them with a leering face just to see if they were truly scared of me, but I was too exhausted.
    Sanjay handed me my Kate Spade bag, and I made a quick examination to see if all the contents were there. M.A.C. compact, two M.A.C. lipsticks, one matte, one frost, cell phone, keys, wallet, and silver Mont Blanc pen. Check. “See you Hindu Smurfs later,” I called, and made for the door.
    Well, they were short.
    â€œPlease wait.” Ram put out a hand to stop me. This time I was ready with the move and had him flat on his back in seconds. Sanjay quickly rushed over. “Please,” Ram rasped. “Why do you refuse to believe you are Kali?”
    I sighed and turned around, keeping my hand firmly on the doorknob. “Where do I start? I haven’t been to the Cerritos Hindu Temple since I was, like, ten. In fact I’m not a religious person at all though I have been known to get down on my knees and thank God when Nordstrom has a sale.”
    Ram grimaced and moved to a chair with Sanjay’s help. “There is a birthmark on your body, shaped like three dots. If you were to join them the figure would resemble a triangle.”
    A slight chill came over me. Wordlessly I pushed up the sleeve of my right arm and bared the mark on my shoulder. Three dots.
    Sanjay stared wide-eyed and pointed. “There, she has it!”
    Ram nodded in a bored way. “Yes, yes, naturally it is there. The mark represents your third eye, the eye ofwisdom. Only Shiva and Kali have it. Have you ever been wounded? Seriously ill?”
    I didn’t need to think this one through. I’d never been one of those lucky kids who got to stay home from school because of chicken pox or the flu. In fact I’d never been injured in my life, not a bee sting, not a splinter, not even massive trauma to the head. I’d put it down to overprotective doctor parents, but now I wondered.
    â€œNo,” I said finally.
    Ram studied my face. “Let me ask you another question then. Have you ever felt vengeful?”
    â€œWho hasn’t? America’s the lawsuit capital of the world,” I pointed out, and went to sit on the bed. The birthmark thing sort of unnerved me, and I wanted to know more.
    â€œAn occasion when you felt anger so powerful it consumed you,” Ram clarified.
    â€œWell, there was the time my favorite show Dark Shadows was canceled but I wouldn’t characterize myself as vengeful, more implacable.”
    â€œAre you sure she’s the one?” Sanjay whispered loud enough for me to hear.
    â€œThe astrologer has never been mistaken,” Ram whispered back.
    I was about to tell the Abbott and Costello of the East that I could hear them when, as if summoned, a memory surfaced with startling clarity. “There was this one instance,” I murmured.
    Ram turned to me with an encouraging smile. “Tell us.”

Chapter 6
    I FELT LIKE a character in a bad movie who suddenly