Glass Hearts Read Free Page B

go from here. I wonder what it will be like to live together. I wonder if I’ll be able to find a job so that I can carry my weight. There are so many unknowns right now, but I push all the worry away and stay lost in the moment, waiting for my boyfriend to join me in bed again.

When Alex showed up at my apartment yesterday, I didn’t know what to think. I spent so much time losing myself while we were apart and the minute I opened that door and saw her standing there, I could see myself again. She hurt me so much, but being with her is less painful than being without her.
    Walking away from her in the park was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I watched Alex shatter right in front of me, and it took everything I had not to wrap her in my arms and tell her everything would be okay. I wanted her, but I needed to save myself. I was still upset, and needed time to sort through our relationship and what had gone wrong. I knew the moment I fell in love with Alex that those feelings would never die. Alex buried herself deep in my heart, and I’m pretty sure she didn’t leave room for anyone else. Time seemed to lessen my anger and left me feeling empty and alone. It wasn’t the first time I’d felt lonely, but it was worse than the other times. Being in love is different from loving someone. It hits you harder when it all falls apart.
    A part of me wanted to tell her to leave and never come back when I saw her standing in front of me yesterday. It would have killed me, but she wouldn’t be able to damage me any more than she already had. But after looking into her eyes, I realized that it would hurt more to watch her walk away again than it would to let her back in my life. I couldn’t do it. Regret can be paralyzing, and I knew I’d regret watching her walk away again.
    When I first met Alex, I thought she was too good for me. Perfection seemed to surround her. We were both running from our pasts and I’m just lucky we stopped in the same place. I had quit dreaming about normal years ago, but suddenly it fell into my lap.
    As I open my bathroom door, I see her lying in my bed just like I’ve dreamed of the past couple months. Her long blonde hair is fanned on my pillow, begging to be touched. She’s cuddled under my sheet, but I know there’s nothing else under it. I wish we could stay locked in my apartment forever, just like this. I crawl under the sheet in nothing but my boxer briefs, fresh from my shower and curl my body around hers. “Did you miss me?”
    “I always miss you,” she mumbles, moving her body back into mine so every part of her body molds to mine.
    “I like the sound of that.” We lay quietly for several minutes, just taking in the feeling of being next to each other again, skin to skin. It’s amazing that feeling you get when you don’t think you’ll have the one thing you want ever again, and then one day it’s yours again.
    “Dane.” Hearing my name come from her lips makes my mouth go dry. Her voice is always so soft and smooth; I used to lie in my bed for hours trying to remember it. I went to Art class a few times after we broke up, and whenever I heard her voice I wanted to run to her, and run away from her at the same time. It brought everything rushing back to me, good and bad.
    “Yeah.”
    “What did you do while we were apart? I mean, you quit coming to class and I was just wondering why,” she says, lowering her voice. I can tell by her tone that she’s afraid to hear it.
    I take a deep breath as I decide what to tell her now and what can wait until later. Our relationship is delicate at this point, and I don’t want to do anything to damage it anymore than it already is. I’m not messing it up with her. “I couldn’t go to class and pretend anymore. I couldn’t go to class and pretend that I didn’t want to hold you, touch you or kiss you. I couldn’t stand to hear your voice and know you weren’t talking to me.”
    She turns in my arms, and I can