three times. I walked up slowly, my finger extended. The ink looked still wet, but it was dry. It didn’t smudge. I heard someone laugh and turned around to see a group of girls looking over from across the hall before they scurried away, still laughing. As I walked to math class I noticed it—everyone was staying far away from me. An invisible force field between me and the rest of the world. No one got closer than a few feet. It was like I had developed leprosy over the weekend.
I was walking into the classroom when someone bumped hard into my back. My book and papers went flying to thefloor. I whirled around and Bill from my math class stood there looking at me.
“What?” he asked, his voice flat. I could hear his friends laughing.
I bent down to pick up my stuff. No one said anything to me in math. I hadn’t been the social butterfly before, but this was different. I felt people staring at me, but when I looked around, no one would meet my eyes. My stomach felt hot and tight, and I wanted to throw up. Even Mr. Grady, our teacher, seemed annoyed with me. The whole morning was like that. I kept trying to find Lauren, but she wasn’t in English or at her locker between classes. When I saw her standing in the lunch line getting her food I had never been so glad to see anyone in my whole life. I had to fight the urge to run over to her.
“Where have you been?” I asked.
Lauren looked at me like she had never seen me before. It was like I was stuck in a weird sci-fi movie.
“What do you want?” she asked holding her tray between us like a barrier.
“What’s with you? I need to talk to you.” I touched her elbow. Lauren yanked away and her tray lurched, slopping orange red ravioli sauce onto my new sweater. We both looked down at the spreading stain. Everyone else in the cafeteria was gaping at us.
“Don’t touch me.”
“Lauren? Why are you mad at me? Why is everybody mad at me?”
Someone standing in line gave a disbelieving snort.
“I didn’t think you would ever do something like that,” she said.
“Like what?”
“Tell on the seniors. I mean, it isn’t just you; by telling, you make our whole class look like a bunch of losers. We all have to fit in at Lincoln High next year, and now we’re going to be known as part of the class that ratted out the most popular seniors. Everyone will connect us with what you did. It was just a prank, Helen.” Lauren’s voice was so loud I was pretty sure everyone in the cafeteria could hear her.
“But I didn’t tell,” I said softly.
“There’s no point lying about it now. Everyone already knows.”
I felt a hot rush of tears in my throat choking off what I was going to say. I walked stiffly out of the cafeteria as kids yelled things after me. I didn’t even stop by my locker; I walked straight out of the school and went home. I peeled off my ruined sweater, stuffed it under the bed, and crawled in. When my mom came home I told her I was sick.
I stayed home sick for the entire week. It wasn’t even lying. I felt awful. I didn’t want to eat anything and even though I was tired, I couldn’t sleep. On Friday I went over to Lauren’s house. I had to find a way to make things right. I could live with everyone else being mad, but I couldn’t stand to be on the outs with my best friend. Lauren was in the backyard with a guy I didn’trecognize. They were both wearing sweats. I stood at the gate and watched. He was spotting her, helping her learn how to do a cartwheel.
“Keep your legs up, nice and straight.”
“I’m trying.”
“You can do it. It’s just a confidence thing. You think you’ll fall, so you do. Just believe, and then up and over.”
Lauren turned a perfect cartwheel. She gave a squeal and jumped into his arms. That’s when she saw me.
“Helen.”
We stood awkwardly looking at each other.
“This is Mark, my gymnastics instructor. My mom hired him.”
Mark made his excuses and left.
“Still thinking of trying out
Audra Cole, Bella Love-Wins