Georgie and Her Dragon Read Free Page B

yog-boar chili
last night.” He unfurled his body and farted thunderously. “See
what I mean?”
    Theo blinked the tears away from his eyes as
several birds, who unfortunately happened to be flying past at the
same time as Dandelion’s gut released its gas, dropped from the
skies like feathered hailstones. “Er, yes.”
    “Well. Seems you’ve got a problem here,
huh?” Dandelion idly scratched his tuft of hair, sending bits of it
in showers around his shoulders. “Let me think a bit.”
    Thinking looked a lot like napping to Theo’s untutored eyes, but after about an hour or
so of “thinking”, Dandelion lifted his head once more and focused
blearily on Theo.
    “You know what this is, then, don’t
you?”
    Theo blinked. “Er...no. As a matter of fact,
I don’t. That’s why I came to you, oh wise one.”
    Dandelion wrinkled his already-wrinkled
nose. “You can cut out the ass-kissing shit. I gave up being
impressed with that crap a long time ago.”
    “Um...okay.” Would this darned creature ever get to the point?
    “To get to the point...”
    Well thank the gods for that at
least ...
    “You’ve got a case of humanoid-reptilian
occipital transference.” He paused. “Or else you’re a raving
pervert with poorly repressed homosexual tendencies.”
    Theo swallowed. “I think I prefer the
former.” He thought for a minute. “What is that anyway?”
    Dandelion grinned, showing several rather
yellowed teeth. “You’ve got a mind link with a princess,
asshole.”
    “Huh? What’s a princess’s asshole got to do
with it?”
    The old dragon sighed and scratched at his
balls inside his pouch. “I heard tell that many generations ago,
you know - like back before time and stuff - dragons were bonded to
humans. For each dragon, there was one special human with whom they
could communicate.”
    “ Really ?” Theo’s eyes opened
wide.
    “No, I’m making this shit up as I go along.”
Dandelion huffed a smoke ring from one nostril. “Of course ,
you fucking twit . You didn’t come all this way for fun , did you?”
    Theo shut his mouth and shook his head.
    “So listen up. Someplace there’s a human
you’ve got a mind link with. You’re getting into its dreams. Sounds
like they’re girly dreams, so I figure it’s gotta be a female. And
the odds are pretty good it’s a princess. This is a frickin’ fairy tale ya know.” He sighed. “Lucky you. I wouldn’t say
no to a bit of tart in my dreams now and again...”
    Theo cleared his throat. “So what do I do
about it?”
    “Do?” Dandelion shook his head, dislodging
more hair. “There’s nothing you can do. You’re stuck with
her. You gotta protect her, do what she says, go where she goes,
carry her on your back if she wants...” He snickered. “Kind of like
being married except without the sex.”
    Theo rolled his eyes. “Oh swell .” He
was never going to get laid at this rate, nor was he ever going to
find his freedom. “So I’m destined for a life as a fire-breathing
puppy for some dipshit female with delusions of grandeur who does
nothing but practice a royal wave of her hand.”
    “Don’t take it hard, lad.” Dandelion looked
sympathetic. “It’s a gift. A rare gift. Hasn’t happened in...” He
counted silently, ran out of claws, then shrugged. “Well, it hasn’t
happened in a long time.” A wise eye raked over Theo. “Gotta be a
reason for it.”
    Theo sighed. “You know something, old dude?
I’m pretty fucking sick of all this mystical magic and legend shit.
If I could’ve kept my dick in my britches I’d still be there now,
herding cows or something, instead of becoming a frickin’
dragon.”
    Dandelion’s eyebrows rose. “Sounds like you
fucked with a fairy, kid.”
    Theo wrinkled his nostrils. “How did you
guess? Of course, I didn’t tell you that or it nullifies
clause seventeen in the spell or something.” Theo’s voice was
morose. “All I wanted was a bit of nookie, you know?”
    “It comes with a