Friends Without Benefits (Knitting in the City) Read Free Page A

benefits.
    “Results thus far are promising; increase in mucociliary clearance, improved digestive and pancreatic function. But the study isn’t yet fully enrolled. No definite conclusions can be made about long term benefits.”
    Rose was staring at me as though I had three heads.
    I reminded myself to slow down, use laymen terms, treat them like any other family. This was safe territory for me: current research trends, the study, risk analyses.
    What was less than safe was the realization that I still had an unsafe territory where Nico was concerned. Since leaving high school, I was now used to venturing beyond the pale with abandon. I was not used to feeling like I needed to watch my words, where I looked, the inflection of my voice.
    It chaffed. Each time I made a mental note to avoid his gaze my irritability increased. I didn’t like this feeling. I didn’t like the unresolved issues between us. What was unsaid choked me and, honestly, pissed me off.
    All things considered, I felt I hid it well.
    I started over. “This study is straight forward, but also extremely intense: twenty-eight days of infusions administered every eight hours. This means that Angelica will have to return here, to the clinical research unit, every eight hours for twenty eight days and receive medication via IV, in her vein, for a half hour. There are some documented adverse reactions. But, on the plus side, the study is not placebo controlled; this means that all patients will be receiving treatment.”
    Rose nodded her understanding, held Angelica tighter.
    “You should take some time to read the forms and discuss.” I studied Rose for a moment as she held her granddaughter to her chest. According to Angelica’s chart the little girl was four. She was very small for a four year old. She was also very shy and continued to look away every time I attempted to draw her out with a smile.
    Rose sighed. It was a heavy, distracted, helpless sigh . “I just don’t know. . .” She turned to Nico, “What do you think?”
    Nico held his mother’s gaze for a moment the n glanced at his hands, studied them as though they might answer the question for him. He lifted his eyes to mine and targeted me with a pointed stare. Another stabbing pain in my heart. If he saw me wince he didn’t make any outward sign.
    He lifted his chin a notch, “What do you think we should do?”
    “Read the study materials and take some time to think about it.”
    “No, that’s not what I mean.” Nico’s eyes moved between mine and I was startled by the trust and vulnerability I witnessed in his gaze. “Will you be her doctor?”
    “I -uh—” My head shook before I knew it was shaking. “No. The research nurses administer the infusions and conduct the study visits. And, this is my last week in research rotation. It is a mandatory six week rotation for all emergency medicine residents and this is my last week. But the study Principal Investigator—Dr. Botstein—is a world renowned pediatric pulmonologist. He is really excellent. He will be the doctor assigned to Angelica.”
    Nico frowned, the earlier trust and vulnerability morphing into something like exasperated desperation. He glared at me through his thick, black lashes then drew his top lip between his teeth and chewed for a moment. His left leg started bouncing. “Couldn’t we request you?”
    What??
    My head shake increased in speed. “No. Listen, you don’t want me. Really. You want Dr. Botstein.”
    “No, Elizabeth.” He said my name slowly, stubbornly. His eyes narrowed for the briefest of moments then he leaned back against the cushions of the pitiful beige sofa. “I want you.”
    I set my expression to rigid, holding Nico’s challenging glower, determined to win this staring contest.
    I spoke first . “You’re not thinking about this clearly—”
    “Whereas you’ve won awards for cl ear thinking?”
    “No.” I gritted my teeth . “No one is perfect.”
    “ Even you?” His tone