Freeing Carter Read Free Page B

being a jerk earlier , and then get down to the folder in my backpack that I don ' t want to see. " That ' s my girlfriend. I better go. You need a ride anywhere? " The words just come out , but I regret them afterward. Mel will kick my ass if I let this girl in my car . Drama is the last thing I need.
    Luckily for me , Kira shakes her head. " Nope. It ' s a gorgeous day for a walk. Plus , I don ' t take rides from strangers. " She winks and walks away, leaving me behind to wonder what just happened.
    ***
    " I ' m sorry. " The words jump out of my mouth the second Mel opens the door. " I was being a jerk earlier. I just ... I had a really bad night , but I shouldn ' t have taken it out on you. " This is something I don ' t like admitting , even to myself , but there ' s a piece of me screaming to break free that wants her to ask me what happened. To ask why I had a bad night so I can tell her. Actually speak the freaking words that are bottled up inside me like a shaken up coke can. Once the top is popped , I ' m scared it will all burst out , spilling over and making my life sticky—more of a mess than it already is.
    But that would mean needing her. Showing her I ' m not the guy she thinks I am. Not an option for me. Probably not an option for her , either , so even if she does wonder , I know I can ' t tell her. Even if I could do it to myself , I couldn ' t do it to Mom.
    She looks at her nails , studying them in mock-nonchalance. " You ' re right , you shouldn ' t have. Basketball starts soon . Cheerleading, too , and on top of it all , you work. We ' ll never see each other and when we do , I don ' t want to spend that time fighting with you. "
    I step forward. My voice drops a little. " I know , baby . I said I ' m sorry. Forgive me? " I wrap my arms around her neck. When she nods against my chest , I let out a heavy breath. I need this ... the dose of normal Mel gives me. Or , at least , to pretend or make myself forget Mom , forget the homework.
    She lifts her face , giving me permission to kiss her . The second our lips touch it takes me away and makes me forget the sound of Mom ' s voice when she said she was sorry. The look on her face when I wrapped my arm around her to help her up the stairs. Behind the bloodshot eyes , I saw her—the real her that hates herself for what she does.
    Forget that I can lose basketball. The only thing that means as much to me as Mom or Sara.
    Trying to push those thoughts away , I deepen the kiss. Mel ' s hand weaves through my hair before she pulls away , kicking the door shut behind her and leading me to her living room couch.
    An hour and a whole lot of making out later , I come up for air. " I should go ," I tell her. " I have a ton of homework to do. Gotta keep my grades up for basketball. " Keep them up , not pull them up , because Mel doesn ' t know how badly I ' m flunking English.
    " No. " She kisses me again. " For one second , forget basketball. " Another kiss. " Homework can wait. I ' m more important. Let ' s go upstairs. "
    It ' s me who kisses her this time. I know I shouldn ' t , but I do exactly what she says.
    ***
    I don ' t get home until 8:45. My backpack still taunts me , whispering that I should have come home earlier. There ' s so much work to do in English alone that I ' ll never get caught up if I don ' t start now.
    Mom ' s blue Toyota sits in the driveway. She can ' t have been home for very long since the shop closes at eight. Still , nervous energy skitters through my veins. Adrenaline , but not the good kind that makes me feel like I can fly on the court. More like the one that overdoses me until I feel like puking. Or having a heart attack. Or both. No matter how much I know she ' s not an everyday drinker , or how much I know an episode like last night usually buys me some time before it happens again , I still think about it every day. Always wondering which version of Mom I ' m coming home to.
    " M om ? " I push the door closed and head toward the