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often had in my voice these days.
    “Where’s that built-in courage that I used to be so envious of?”
    “On a long vacation?”
    Laura smiled, “Time for it to come home.”
    “And time for you to face up to the fact that you have a shitty marriage.” I looked at my sister and she looked really hurt, so I added, “No offense,” which made her smile.
    “Things with Alan aren’t that bad,” she said, “We’re friends. It’s been that way for years, for most of our marriage, in fact. So if he wants to live his life this way, I have two choices. Put up with it or get a divorce. And I choose number one. I have no interest in Alan romantically anymore. But I don’t want to meet anyone else either. So I just make it work.”
    “Look, I’m not that surprised by what you’re telling me. I never really felt like you and Alan wanted to rip each other’s clothes off or anything.”
    “Em!”
    “What? I’m just being honest. But the cheating, that truly was a shock.”
    “Why? Men cheat.”
    “Yeah, but not men like Alan.”
    “Why not?”
    “Because who would want to sleep with that dork?!”
    It really was funny, and we both burst out laughing, but I could tell that Laura was really affected. It was one thing when she suspected her husband of infidelity, but having confirmation that someone actually caught him in the act must have been pretty brutal.
    I was so protective of Laura, constantly telling people (in front of her) that she was “the good sister, the one who dedicated her life to helping people, the angel, the good mom, the good wife.” I could tell that this ultimate betrayal was like a knife in her back, and it was frustrating because I couldn’t protect her.
    “You know, with Audrey leaving for college in the fall, you could actually have a really nice life,” I said, “You could have lots of freedom, lots of peace, and lots of time to do fun things without a loser who cheats on you.”
    Laura nodded.
    “I want to kill him,” I said angrily.
    “Don’t say that. You don’t mean it.”
    “Yes, I do. I want to go back to your house right now and kick box the crap out of him.”
    “What?!”
    “Yeah, I’ve been taking kick boxing classes on Tuesdays and Fridays.” I demonstrated as I spoke, “Right hooks, left hooks, uppercuts, cross punches… I could give him some much deserved bruises. Say the word.”
    “No thanks,” she giggled.
    All of a sudden, at this very moment, I burst into tears. Laura tried to comfort me, which was totally ironic.
    “I’m so sorry,” I said, while semi-hyperventilating, “I just want you to be happy, Laura, and I thought you were.”
    “I have a beautiful daughter, a job I love, no financial worries, two healthy parents, an adorable niece, and a crazy but wonderful sister. I have a lot to be happy about.”
    Through tears, I asked, “How do we have the same blood pumping through our veins? If I were you, I would NEVER EVER compromise and sleep in the same bed with a cheater like Alan. If I were you, I’d rid myself of the screwed up baggage holding me down. If I were you, I’d file for divorce and milk the guy for every cent I could.”
    “And if I were YOU, I’d get over what happened, stop blaming myself, stop feeling guilty and move on. It’s been over a year since Sam died, and it’s okay to still be grieving his death. But this guilt you have over it, it’s enough already. Let it go and try to start moving on. Could you maybe try to date a little bit, dip your toe in the water?”
    “No thanks.”
    “I’m not saying you should dive into a relationship, but you haven’t even gone out with one guy. In fact, have you had any interaction with a man in the past year, other than dad?”
    “Yes, actually.”
    “Who?”
    “The guy who works in the wine section at Trader Joe’s. He really knows his Pinot Noirs.”
    Laura took a deep breath. “You better watch it or you’re going to get some right and left hooks from me . I’ve taken