Are you forgetting your job? This should have been cleaned up right after it happened. Now we've got a royal clusterfuck on our hands.”
I could hear a man on the other end getting louder as he presumably tried to defend his ball dropping. Sean was having none of it.
“No, you listen to me. I don't care who's to blame. I just want it fixed. Now!” he continued, the anger rolling off of him in tsunami sized waves. “And, so help me, Jer, if this happens again, it'll be your ass.”
He hung up the phone and said nothing—he was fuming. We walked in silence as he tried to calm himself and I tried to slow my mind that raced frantically through scenes of the madman's attack on that innocent woman. It appeared that the stress and importance of Sean's job was wearing on him. What had become my daily norm was wearing on me. Our frustration had become our common bond.
“I'm so tired, Sean. I'm so tired of all of this,” I whispered.
Startling me, he grabbed my elbow in his hand from behind and jerked me into the opening of the nearest alley. My back was pressed uncomfortably against the brick facade only moments before he crammed his face in mine.
“I know you are, Ruby, but there is much at stake, and you need to put on those big girl panties that you love to talk about so much and deal—deal with it, deal with life, and deal with me. I know you're hurting. You think I like that? I don't, but if hurting you keeps you alive, I'll do it time and time again. You can hate me for that all you want; I'm tired of apologizing for the decisions I have to make, the job I have to do, and the past I can't escape. You're not the only one with problems, nor are you the only one less than pleased with the hand you've been dealt.”
He spoke low and in my ear, and the sound lulled me slightly, even though his message was jarring. When he pulled back to look me in the face, I felt sleepy and unstable, like the feeling you have when you jump off the table too quickly following a long massage. It took me a moment to sober up.
When I looked at his face, I saw his eyes had darkened as they always did when his emotions intensified, good or bad. I wanted to say something clever to get the last jab in, but I decided against it, thinking my lack of response would be far more poignant. I walked away instead.
Do you ever tire of running from your battles? I'm exhausted from watching you do it.
“Shut up,” I muttered under my breath.
“You can't run from everything in your life, Ruby. Eventually, you'll have to stand and fight.”
“What the fuck? Are you two in cahoots or something? What's with the sideline psychoanalysis?” I snarled. Being overly defensive was a reflex I hadn't reprogrammed. “I'm well aware of that Sean. I'm just choosing not to fight you.”
“Smart,” he replied quietly. “I'm not a fight you want, nor am I the enemy. You'd be wise to remember that.”
“Like I could forget if I wanted to, Sean,” I retorted. “You won't let me.”
We were nearly to my building, and I breathed a sigh of relief. Cooper could be a nag, but generally he knew when to lay off. Sean didn't.
“I don't want to fight either, Ruby,” he said with an air of exhaustion.
“Then we need to stay away from each other, because the sad reality of all of this, Sean, is that it's the only way to avoid it,” I told him, coming to a stop just feet before the entrance to my apartment. I wanted to make a point and looking Sean in the eyes generally worked. I rarely ever saw anyone do it.
“I can't,” he replied, his expression pained.
“Can't what?”
“Stay away.”
“Yes, you can.”
“No, I can't.”
“Fine,” I sighed, walking over to unlock the door.
“Ruby,” he growled, whipping me around to face him. His eyes were as dark as I'd ever seen them. “I can't because Stavros is dead. They keep dying, and I can't do anything to stop it. If I can't keep them alive, I'm going to damn well keep you alive.”
“Another