Forever Yours Read Free Page B

know I hurt you. A lot. And I know you were angry.”
    She finally looked at him. “Yeah. That and, um, humiliated. Devastated. Crushed. Confused. That’s a good one. I was extremely confused because I had no idea that you had even applied for a position in New York, let alone planned to take it if it was offered. Maybe a little offended that I was so easily tossed aside. Yeah. I was, um, I was a lot of things, John.”
    “And now?”
    “Now? I don’t know. I do my best not to think about you because I don’t like feeling so bitter…and…insignificant. You were supposed to love me and you just…walked way. Like I didn’t even matter to you.”
    He exhaled slowly. “For the last four years I have been trying to find the courage to tell you, to explain.”
    “You don’t have to explain.”
    “Yes, Meg, I do. I don’t want you to think that it was you—” He stopped speaking when she laughed quietly and sat back.
    She looked at him, and a realization hit her so strong it brought tears to her eyes. “I never thought it was me, John. I knew exactly what it was. It was you. It was your doom and gloom outlook on life, your self-fulfilled prophecy that we were going to crash and burn. You walked out on me before I could walk out on you. But you never listened, you never heard me when I said I wasn’t going to walk out on you.
    “I knew,” Meg continued. “I knew, as soon as we moved in together, that I was going to lose you. I knew you’d find some way to sabotage it. I knew you were going to hurt me. I just convinced myself that we were stronger than your fears. Clearly, we weren’t.” She sighed, hating the deep-seated disappointment she still had over a relationship that failed four years ago.
    John took a sip of his coffee. “I don’t know what to say to that.”
    “I don’t need you to say anything. I loved you with all my heart. It took a long time to recover after you left, but it’s over now so let’s just stop talking about it. I don’t want to keep revisiting that time, and I’m sure you don’t either.”
    “Not particularly.”
    “We are going to have to get along so we can be there for Suz and Steven when the baby is born, but don’t expect anything more than that from me. Understand?”
    “Yes.”
    “Okay.” She looked around.
    Becky was watching as she talked on the phone. Meg returned her attention to John who was still looking at Becky.
    “She has like four kids now,” Meg said. “You’d think she’d have better things to do than talk about us.”
    “It’s going to be good chatter for a while,” John said. “You and me in the same room together. But it’ll pass.”
    “She loved it, you know? When you left. She talked about it for years. How you chose your career over me.”
    The guilt on his face was so much it almost made her feel guilty for telling him. Not quite, though. It was true. Becky and her cohorts in gossip had bled their break-up dry and then tried to bleed it some more every time one of Meg’s relationships failed.
    “That’s not what happened.”
    “Hmm.” Meg moaned in response. “Well, that’s how they saw it.”
    “You know that’s not true. I…I was…”
    “Scared. You’ve always been so scared. It must be exhausting to be you.” She exhaled when he looked down. Damn it. “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.”
    “No. No, it’s not. I deserve whatever you dish out.”
    “Look, I know you have… issues . What your mom did, the way she just left you, it wasn’t right. But she left you with people who took great care of you, and while it isn’t something you just get over, you have to find a way to move on, John. You can’t let it impact the rest of your life.”
    “I know.” His voice held a great amount of determination. “I finally get it, Meg. Being in New York, seeing the things I did, I realized that I was lucky. Mom didn’t have to find a place to ditch me. She could have just disappeared and left me to fend for myself.