For Tamara Read Free Page B

Why am I the leader, b/c I am leading and it is working. / Next? / I am delegating and deferring to all team leaders. / Leave if you want. / Best of luck. Then again, if there are more details added re: other characters, it could seem like a very natural offshoot.
    Before, I would have played a game called dress-up with you. / You’d be a princess or a pirate. / Now I need you to weed the garden.
    T., I miss so many people. / I used to pretend they were dead / to make it easier. / I don’t know how to make this easier for you.
    All the galaxies we see have a number. / There was a form of dance. / A special collections library.
    Tamara, in another world you’d have to know the difference between tsp and tbsp / take your chances. / I have to go clean the water.
    Basically, if you don’t have a fever, you are dehydrated from expelling fluids, you will likely live. / Or we don’t have meds. / Or a virus. / There are many other things that could be wrong, but again / we don’t have the meds. / Mum is sorry to do this and to ask you to let them go.
    One day, when I have time / I’ll teach you about them all. / When I have time. / One day. / I hope we saved a textbook.
    T., I know you are learning so many languages. / And I am so proud. / Remember bashert / I hope.
    Dead ppl look like normal people. / But like a waterfall you keep expecting to move.
    Being able to remember exactly how I felt the first time I saw you; / yes, it is a gift. / And a horrible curse.
    This is a book that teaches you everything I couldn’t. / I just realized I never told you about “the man in the moon.” I wish I could have. / And no, he isn’t a real man, / just the shape of the craters. / We move through space and so do many things. And sometimes they do hit us. / In this case, many hit the moon / and made that face. / The “man in the moon.”
    Yr Mum let down so many people close to her; / but fewer than the strangers. / Was it better? / To not give to those closest first? / To trust they’ll be fine?
    Yr Mum used to dance in these clubs. / She’d walk home mid-day in an evening gown and sunglasses. / That was life.
    Working on it.
    Only your Father would have folded that heart with an arrow through it while waiting for computer time.

There are no baby books left. / I guess it’s just you and me, kid. / What really is green? Or orange? / Don’t eat that. / Or that. / Or that. / You can eat that. / Stop sticking things in your mouth, T. / We have enough dead people. / Go eat a dandelion. / I only joke b/c I have no choice. / These ppl are entrusted to me. / Every single day. / I’m sry yr just one of them, my beautiful Tamara.
    Of course I miss Dad. / Like you wouldn’t believe. / Like a limb. / But we all have jobs now. / Please, can you go play alone for 20 min?
    We both know I couldn’t ask you to stay. But I want to wake up to the sound of that blender and two poached eggs. / Dear My Beautiful Idiot, we miss you: me and T. / We’re helping those we can the best we can. / I would love a “postcard” from you w/the same.
    Thank-you parents and grandparents. / Without my vague memories of you doing half these things, we’d all be dead. / How to hold a hammer. / One pill per day. / A stitch. / Jam (if we ever have fruit). / A slide rule. / Contraindications.
    T., even when I’m gone, I miss you. / And you know we aren’t religious. / You got the worst-destined job.
    The gesture: when you turn your palm out and expect someone to grab it, no questions. / Experience that, please.
    I used to wear a coral necklace. / If you touch coral it dies. / Make jewellery, it helps. / Somehow.
    Your Mum can dive into shallow water; you’re not old enough to. / Leave it to me. / I couldn’t deal with your broken neck.
    You don’t know this, but he would have read to you — nearly too much. / He is thoughtful in other ways. / Which is