For Myself Alone: A Jane Austen Inspired Novel Read Free Page A

there, and the dimness gave a soothing relief from the relative brilliance of the ballroom.
    “Oh, what a pleasant reprieve this is!” said I, stretching my feet out in front of me.
    “I am surprised to hear you speak so. I thought surely you must be enjoying yourself this evening, for you have never been in want of a partner. Of that much, I am certain. Is it not every young woman’s idea of bliss to be the belle of the ball?”
    “Oh, I love to dance. The livelier the music, the better I like it. Still, I am tired… and a little disappointed with the quality of the company. I would much rather spend the evening with you and Tom, but I suppose that would not do. I cannot dance with my own brother, and Agnes would never spare you so long. Although in truth, you do seem to be neglecting her tonight, even without my interference. I have only seen you dance with her twice. You accuse me of skulking? I suspect, Mr. Evensong, it is you who has been hiding. Good heavens!” I said, feigning shock. “Surely it cannot be Agnes that you are avoiding.”
    This taunt had the anticipated effect; a great blush, starting from Arthur’s crisp, white cravat, suffused scarlet to the tops of his ears.
    “Well, you have done it again, Jo. My face is burning. I hope you are satisfied.”
    “Now, do not be cross, Arthur. I count it as a marvelous, almost magical, thing, the way you color at the slightest provocation. I have found it quite irresistible ever since we were children, as you well know.”
    “I suppose I am only annoyed because I have no means to retaliate. You seem peculiarly immune to the frailty yourself, which is a shame. It certainly would become you much better than it does me.” The irritation in his countenance faded along with the redness. “As for Agnes, she would have me standing up with her for every dance if she could, which would be highly improper since, despite what everybody may think, we are not formally engaged.”
    “Ah, so you would spare her reputation. How chivalrous of you, sir.”
    “She may dance with whomever she pleases, and she must grant me the same freedom of choice, my preference being to remain mostly in the background.”
    “Well, in this case, I am glad you were waiting in the background and that I stumbled upon you. At least I can have you to myself for these few minutes. I never see you anymore, Arthur. Why have you stopped coming to the house?”
    “It is not by my own inclination that I stay away,” he said in a more solemn tone. “Your father has made it clear… well… Weall understand that your circumstances are entirely different now. Others must command your attention at present.”
    “Many things have changed, yes, but some things never should. I shall always remember my true friends and I hope they will do the same for me. You cannot believe me so weak as to lose my sense and forget my loyalties over money.”
    “It is not just the money, though, is it? The attention and the expectations accompanying your inheritance are powerful forces. They cannot help but alter you.”
    “To my mind, it is not my behavior that is altered! It is yours and everybody else’s.” I took a deep breath before continuing. “Now Arthur, I must return to the dance. Will you not shake hands with me before I go, and say you are still my friend?”
    He took my hand and met my gaze with his startlingly blue eyes. “Of course I am your friend, Jo, now and always. Nothing shall ever change that.”

 
     
     
    3
    Papa’s Indisposition
     
    “My dear, you simply must tell me all about last night’s ball,” my mother insisted after breakfast the next morning. The two of us had moved to the sitting room and taken up our needlework. “I did ask Tom earlier, but it was of little use. Men are generally hopeless when it comes to such things in any case. I depend entirely upon you for a full account. Are there any new romances afoot, any intriguing alliances taking shape? Tell me all about your