For Frying Out Loud Read Free Page A

returning to the car.
    Back at home, there was a message on the phone from Barbara’s partner Kay, asking if we would please take photos of the next day’s Stonewall event for their memorabilia collection.
    The next day saw breakfast out, terrific stories, sharing of views, a little shopping at our gay bookstore and then the Stonewall event.
    With perfect summer weather, and a large crowd, the stage was set for the big backyard event at the home along Silver Lake. A host of officials spoke, along with attending politicos, and finally we got to the honors. Both Sarah and Jim Brady, as well as Barbara made passionate and effusive remarks. Stonewall presented Barbara with a lovely glass bowl, which she excitedly held over her head for all to see as she challenged us to keep up the fight.
    Following the cocktail hour event it was off to dinner again. This time Barbara chose a gourmet Asian restaurant where we had another wonderful meal and more animated conversation.Bonnie and I were a little sad, because our weekend together was coming to an end.
    On Sunday morning, Bonnie cooked pancakes as we sat around our table chatting about Rehoboth and Delaware politics. Then it was time to return Barbara to Wilmington. I don’t think any of us wanted the weekend to end. As we drove North, Barbara wanted to know everything she had failed to ask us on the trip down and we wanted to know more about her career. It turns out that she and Kay mostly held low-level administrative jobs to fund their real jobs as gay rights activists. We realized all the things Barbara and her contemporaries went through to make our current lives here in Rehoboth possible.
    When we dropped her off at home, we felt like we’d made a wonderful new friend and she promised to stay in touch as well.
    Through September we exchanged a few e-mails, and I soon got a package – a wonderful autographed book full of interviews from the early gay rights activists and quite a bit about Barbara herself. She also told me to look for a new documentary in which she was interviewed. In exchange, I sent along the Stonewall event photos.
    I was caught up in other things last fall – writing jobs, political races and putting the finishing touches on my next book. It was a while before I realized I hadn’t heard from Barbara regarding the package of pictures.
    And I was totally stunned and saddened last week when I heard she had passed away, with Kay at her side.
    Bonnie and I were unhappy we hadn’t gotten the chance to see Barbara again, but I was torn. Selfishly I’d rather remember her charging in and out of our house, curly grey hair askew, asking questions, laughing out loud and wearing her “Gay? Fine by Me!” t-shirt.
    You’re going to miss her whether you knew her or not.

March 2007
    MOON OVER THE MILITARY, OR NAKED GUN, TOO
    With an intolerant, bigoted boss like Chairman of the Joint Chiefs, General Peter Pace, why would a gay person even want a military career?
    But gay people do. They want to serve their country and get an education. They are willing to slog through a hideous political blunder like Iraq, risking their lives, to do it.
    And General Pace says they are not worthy of offering that sacrifice. It’s a savage insult to gay citizens everywhere and some people are applauding him for it.
    His reasoning isn’t even as sly as the usual rant against gays in the military. The prevailing idiocy allows that gays would disrupt morale and discipline. In other words, gay people shouldn’t be allowed to serve because straight people are scared of them. It’s a sad and frequently offered argument.
    But no, General Pace doesn’t hide behind the morale issue. He deletes an “e” and declares it to be a moral issue. To his closed mind gays are not moral, therefore they should not serve.
    I think he’s hideously wrong of course, but in America he’s entitled to his opinion. But since he’s