Five Go Glamping Read Free Page B

years. Don’t have the time.’ Steph winked and topped up my glass and laughed the dirtiest laugh. I found it hard to believe Steph would be struggling to meet anyone.
    ‘What about that bloke from Fiona’s work who you went for a balti with on Ladypool Road last month? That was a date wasn’t it?’ asked Sinead, smiling encouragingly.
    ‘That doesn’t count. I have erased it from my memory.’ she said. ‘His favourite film was Jurassic Park Two. And he said he liked the smell of bleach. Seriously, who likes the smell of bleach? A mad axe murderer or a serial killer, that’s who. Therefore, it does not count as a date. It was more like a sociological investigation into the mind of a psychopath. Or a prison visit.’ She shuddered.
    It was a very ill-informed decision of mine to set up Steph on a date with Ken from work. Not my finest moment. I didn’t know about his liking for dinosaur movies or cleaning products before the date, but still, it’s never a good idea to set up your friends with work colleagues.
    ‘And he ordered a korma too,’ said Steph. ‘He said he didn’t really like spicy food.’
    ‘Oh no,’ Sinead looked at her with pity and touched Steph’s hand. Perhaps slightly overreacting.
    ‘I know,’ said Steph. ‘What a wuss. That is such a girly thing to do. Where are all the real men, for heaven’s sake?’
    ‘They’re not in here for a start,’ ‘I said. ‘Look at the state of them. I used to love it here.’
    It used to be an old man’s pub before it got hipster-y and uber-fashionable, when the only food they served was a cheese cob wrapped in cling film. We would spend hours in here and treated it like our living room, meeting up after work and staying until closing at the weekends before heading into town. Me and Connor had our first date here. Now it was all black walls and chandeliers and blackboards full of cocktails and ridiculous tapas creations and I hated it. The people were different too. Once it had been full of all sorts of people, old men popping in and out of the bookies, supping pints of mild. Now it was full of hipsters, wearing the same sorts of clothes the old men used to wear but with designer labels on them.
    Connor still liked it in here, he mingled with all the hipster types, but it didn’t feel real to me any more. It was all so pretentious.
    ‘I can’t believe we haven’t been on holiday this year,’ Sinead said, interrupting my thoughts. ‘We could all do with a change. A rest. We’re all overworked. We’re burnt out. I was reading about it on Goop. Women our age are tired because we want it all but what we really need is some fresh air,’ she announced. ‘We need fresh air, peace and quiet, country walks. A break away from it all. We could go camp–’
    ‘Forget it.’ I interrupted. ‘I know what you are going to say. I’m not going camping. Not after last time. If I could afford to go on holiday, which I cannot, I’d want to go somewhere warm or to a spa. Somewhere nice where you don’t have to put your coat on to walk to the showers.’
    ‘A break
would
be nice,’ said Steph wistfully. ‘A holiday would do us all good.’
    ‘Can’t afford it,’ I continued. ‘I haven’t budgeted for a holiday. I need to get this deposit saved and get this promotion at work and then I can go on all the holidays I want.’
    A holiday did appeal to me massively; I wanted a change of some sort and maybe a holiday could be just the thing I needed. Time to get some clarity.
    My thoughts ran through all the things I wanted to change: I was unhappy at work, unable to pursue anything I really wanted to do; I hadn’t saved enough for my own place; Connor was around less and less. My five year plan was already crumbling and I didn’t know whether a holiday would fix any of that. ‘I feel like I need a new thing, you know?’
    ‘What kind of thing?’ asked Sinead.
    ‘What I mean is, you have a thing Steph – you have a proper grown-up career and you