Fine things Read Free Page B

less he could say to Sheila that night, before they both began packing up their things. He didn't even tell her how he felt about what she had done. He didn't trust himself to say anything. They said very little, in fact, as she got her things out of his drawers. His parents were having dinner with friends at the hotel, and he was joining them the next day for a luncheon to celebrate his graduation before they all went back to New York. But he looked at Sheila now with an air of despair. The last year and a half seemed about to go down the drain. They had stayed together the last few weeks out of convenience and habit. But he still couldn't accept their separation. Although he had made plans to go to Europe with his parents, he couldn't believe they were through. It was odd how passionate she could be in bed, and how cool everywhere else. It had confused him since the first day they met. But he found himself completely unable to be objective about her. She broke the silence first. “I'm leaving tomorrow night for California.”
    He looked stunned. “I thought your parents wanted you to come home.”
    She smiled and tossed a handful of socks into her duffel bag. “I guess they do.” She shrugged again and he suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to slap her. He had been genuinely in love with her …had wanted to marry her …and all she cared about was what she wanted. She was the most egocentric human being he had ever met. “I'm flying standby to Los Angeles. And I guess I'll hitch a ride to San Francisco from there.”
    “And then?”
    “Who knows?” She held out her hands, looking at him as though they had just met, not like the friends and lovers they had been. She had been the most important part of his life during his last two years at the University of Michigan, and now he felt like a damn fool. Two years wasted with her.
    “Why don't you come to San Francisco after you get back from Europe? I wouldn't mind seeing you there.” Wouldn't mind? After two years?
    “I don't think so.” He smiled for the first time in hours, but his eyes were still sad. “I have to look for a job.” He knew she wasn't burdened with that. Her parents had given her twenty thousand dollars when she graduated, and he noticed that she hadn't torn that up. She had enough money to live in California for several years. And he hadn't done enough about finding work because he wasn't sure what she would do. He felt like an even bigger fool. And what he wanted most was to find a job in a small New England school, teaching Russian literature. He had applied and was waiting for answers.
    “Isn't it kind of stupid to get suckered in by the establishment, Bern, to work at a job you hate, for money you don't need?”
    “Speak for yourself. My parents aren't planning to support me for the rest of my life.”
    “Neither are mine.” She spat the words at him.
    “Planning to look for a job on the West Coast?”
    “Eventually.”
    “Doing what? Modeling those?” He pointed at her cutoffs and boots and she looked annoyed.
    “You'll be just like your parents one day.” It was the worst thing she could say as she zipped up her duffel bag and then stuck a hand out at him. “So long, Bernie.”
    It was ridiculous, he thought to himself as he stared at her. “That's it? After almost two years, 'so long'?” There were tears in his eyes and he didn't care what she thought now. “That's hard to believe … we were going to get married …have kids.”
    She didn't look amused. “That wasn't what we set out to do.”
    “What did we set out to do, Sheila? Just screw each other for two years? I was in love with you, difficult to believe as that may seem now.” He suddenly couldn't imagine what he saw in her, and hated to admit that his mother was right. But she had been. This time.
    “I guess I loved you too …” Her lip trembled in spite of her efforts at control, and suddenly she went to him and he clung to her in the barren little room that