Fart Squad Read Free Page B

energy, but today he kept to the sidelines, avoiding everybody but Andy. His stomach was still churning, and he was clenching hard against another gas eruption.
    â€œBoy, those burritos really did a number on you,” Andy said sympathetically. “You think you can get through class without farting again?”
    â€œI hope so,” Darren said uncertainly.
    He spotted Harry Buttz and the B.O. twins hanging out together across the yard, shunnedby everybody else. This was all their fault, Darren realized. If B.O. hadn’t swiped his lunch, he wouldn’t have had to eat those darn burritos! He wouldn’t have farted in class. And he would be dreaming about sports camp instead of worrying about summer school.
    His temper took over, and he stormed across the roof to confront the bullies.
    â€œWait!” Andy called out, but once Darren got going there was no slowing him down. “Great,” Andy muttered. “Here we go again. . . .”
    As Darren got closer to the threesome, he could hear Harry giving his flunkies a hard time. “You’re going to have to do better next time,” he scolded. “Four lost lunches wasn’t nearly enough to—”
    â€œI knew it!” Darren said, butting in, as Andy ran to keep up. Darren could only guess what Harry meant by “next time,” but the part about the “lost lunches” only confirmed his suspicions.
    â€œYou people are nothing but a rotten bunch of lunch thieves!”
    â€œBeat it, Stonkadopolis,” Harry said. “Mindyour own business.”
    â€œHey!” Bertha said, recognizing Darren and Andy. “These are the dweebs who interrupted us before.”
    â€œYeah,” Oscar confirmed. “They’re the ones who spoiled things, so we couldn’t—”
    â€œShut your trap,” Harry barked, as though Oscar was about to say too much. He scowled at Darren and Andy. “Are you two deaf? Get lost.”

    Harry’s reaction convinced Darren that the stolen lunches were part of some larger plot.
    â€œWhat’s this all about?” he demanded. “Does ithave something to do with you snooping around the basement?”
    â€œBasement?” Andy asked, completely lost.
    Harry’s scowl turned into a glare. “If you were smart, you’d stop being so nosy.” He nodded at B.O. “Show these punks what happens to people who ask too many questions.”
    â€œYou bet, Number Two,” Bertha said.
    â€œDon’t call me that!”
    â€œSorry,” Oscar said on his sister’s behalf.
    The twins closed in on Darren and Andy while Harry hung back, content to let B.O. do the dirty work. Darren gulped, realizing that he really hadn’t thought this through. He glanced around, but didn’t see any teachers watching. Not that it mattered. Thanks to his family connections, Harry got away with a lot at Harry Buttz Elementary.
    â€œYou two got lucky before,” Bertha said, “but not this time.”
    Oscar cracked his knuckles. “’Bout time you got what’s coming to you.”
    â€œHang on!” Andy took off his glasses and looked around for a safe place to put them. “I don’t think I want to see this anyway.”
    Darren figured they were goners, unless . . .
    He spun around and let loose with a volcanic fart that blasted the twins off their feet. They tumbled backward, gasping and choking at the stench. Their eyebrows were singed from the heat of theeruption. A few feet back, Harry’s jaw dropped and his eyes widened.

    â€œThe burritos,” he realized. “They must be even gassier than anyone thought possible!”
    Darren grabbed Andy by the arm and dragged him away.
    â€œLater, losers!” he said as Andy put his glasses back on. He looked around in confusion. “What happened?”
    Darren just grinned.
    Maybe there were advantages to having the hottest farts in school.

CHAPTER FOUR
    D arren