directions and trying the experiment would result in my feeling much better about myself âon the inside,â Mama promised.
âWhatever feelings you get from running your mouth and bragging are going to pale to what it feels like when somebody else praises you.â
So, for the next few days, I avoided verbal beat-downs and boasting about myself. One day, after reciting the entire lineup of the Cincinnati Reds, including their current batting averages, I purposely chose not to challenge my classmates to best me, nor did I brag about what I had just done. I simply sat down.
Sure enough, a few impressed classmates complimented my âamazingâ memory.
I couldnât wait to get off the school bus, run home, and tell Mama about my experience. She smiled and cried at the same time.
âThatâs what I was trying to tell you, baby. Remember that feeling for as long as you live because the more you achieve and succeed, the more youâll discover how difficult it will be to remain humble. Always remember, before honor comes humility.â
Humilityâthe Flip Side of Arrogance
âI think the reason I have come as far as I have stems from insecurity ⦠Iâm sure there are lots of people in the businessâeven in politicsâand the CEOs of enormous companies, who get there because insecurity pushes you. I sometimes think the brasher the celebrity or the artist, the more insecure they are.â
âMICHAEL BUBLÃ
Canadian crooner Michael Bubléâs disclosure struck a chord with me. Not only have I met some of those notables he describes; I, too, once shouldered the burden of insecurityâfeeling less than, not good enough . The false fronts of bravado and braggadocio were used to mask those insecurities. If not for a motherâs stubborn love and a small, wooden pencil box, thereâs no telling how many friends or opportunities I might have lost.
The lesson learned was one of humility. And I thank God I âgot itâ at an early age. You see, we live in a society where broken people desperately seek external validations to feel worthy. The whole motivation behind the âbuy, buy, buy,â âgotta have, gotta haveâ mentality is an attempt to purchase status and stature. Young people, lacking confidence, are bamboozled into believing that the âreal lifeâ shown on many of the reality TV programs is loud, brash, obnoxious, and self-gratifying.
The media have created an inaccurate image of a successful business person as someone who is self-centered and materialistic, says John M. Thompson III, executive director of career services at Texas Christian University. As a result, Thompson suggests, many young entrepreneurs approach their careers from an arrogant, whatâs-in-it-for-me perspective, when âthe business world does not like arrogance.â
Arrogance, the flip side of humility, is celebrated in the media, movies, and politics. It is the spark that leads to chest-thumping, unilateral offenses, and the downfall of politicians or Wall Street types who egotistically believe they are beyond reproof. People who are decent and courteous during face-to-face encounters exhibit opposite personas in the ever-expanding world of faceless Internet communication.
In the study âArrogance: A Formula for Failure,â Stan Silverman, dean of The University of Akronâs Summit College and co-author of the study, notes the strong connection among arrogance, poor job performance, and negativity on the job.
Silverman and his colleagues developed the Workplace Arrogance Scale (WARS) to obtain empirical data that verified or negated the alleged negative relationship between arrogance and job performance. Among other findings, the study concluded that the more arrogant a person is, the more self-centered and the less agreeable he or she is likely to be. Further, it found arrogance can have significant negative effects on an