Eye Candy Read Free Page B

She’s so crazy about him.
    â€œAnyone want an apple or something?” Ann-Marie disappeared into the kitchen.
    â€œI couldn’t write an ad about myself,” I said. “It would be too embarrassing. What would I say? ‘I like long walks in the moonlight on winding country roads? I want someone who’s honest and sincere and likes me just for me?’ Puke.”
    Ann-Marie returned carrying a slice of cheesecake on a plate. “Left over from dinner with Lou last night,” she explained, swallowing a mouthful.
    â€œAnn-Marie will write the ad for you,” Luisa said. “She’s batting a thousand.”
    â€œYeah, sure. No problem,” Ann-Marie said. “I’ll write the ad. I know just what to say.”
    The next day, she showed me the ad she had placed on the Web site, and I was horrified.

4
    E
ye Candy?”
I screamed. “Ann-Marie—how could you call me
Eye Candy
?”
    I blinked at the laptop screen, hoping the ad would magically change. But there I still was, smiling out at myself above the boldfaced headline: EYE CANDY .
    Ann-Marie sat in the desk chair, eyes on the laptop. I stood behind her. I wrapped my hands around her neck and pretended to strangle her. “Aaaaagh! How could you do this to me?”
    â€œGive me a break, Lindy.” She pried my hands from her neck. “Everyone puts in a funny name to describe themselves.”
    â€œBut
Eye Candy
?”
    â€œTake a breath, okay. Let’s face it, you’re beautiful, right? You’re drop-dead gorgeous, no kidding. It’s a perfect name for you.”
    â€œBut . . . yuck. It sounds like bragging. Who’s going to want to go out with a girl who calls herself Eye Candy?”
    Ann-Marie shrugged. “You’ll see . . .”
    Lou appeared in the doorway. He lumbered into the bedroom, followed by Luisa.
    Lou is very tall. He ducks his head under every doorway. He’s big, too, not fat, just what they call big-boned, I guess. He wears size 13 shoes. He can’t enter a room quietly. The floorboards creak under him. Sometimes when he gives Ann-Marie a big hug, I expect to hear her ribs crack.
    â€œHey, what’s up?” He leaned down and kissed Ann-Marie on the cheek.
    â€œWe have a little problem,” I said. “Check this out.” I pointed to the laptop.
    Lou bumped Ann-Marie off the chair and sat down. He leaned toward the screen, his thick, black eyebrows moving up and down as he read my ad.
    I stepped up beside him. “It’s terrible, right?”
    He turned and slid his arm around my waist. “
I’d
go out with you!”
    Ann-Marie let out a growl and gave Lou a hard shove. “You creep!” She balled up her hands and began punching him.
    He laughed and ducked behind his hands to block her punches. “Give me a break, Annie! She asked for an opinion!”
    Ann-Marie shoved him again.
    â€œEye Candy, huh?” Lou said, turning back to the screen. “Whose idea was that?”
    â€œIt wasn’t mine!” I said.
    â€œMine,” Ann-Marie said. “And I think it’s perfect for Lindy.”
    â€œAnd look what else she wrote,” I said, as Lou scrolled down the screen. “She wrote that I’m a publishing executive. What a total lie!”
    â€œOf course you’re a publishing executive,” Ann-Marie insisted.
    â€œI’m an editorial assistant,” I said. “Why did you have to exaggerate?”
    Ann-Marie crossed her arms in front of her. “Everyone exaggerates a little.”
    â€œYou didn’t exaggerate about the eye candy part,” Lou chimed in, grinning. He ducked as Ann-Marie began to punch him again.
    â€œYou really like getting beat up, don’t you, Lou?” Luisa said.
    He grabbed Ann-Marie’s hands to stop her attack. “I’m into all kinds of kinky things,” he said. “You’d be surprised.”
    I suddenly had a picture in