Even the Butler Was Poor Read Free Page B

you're getting warm."
    He contemplated for a silent moment or two. "Nope. Nothing." He shook his head. "Have you had dinner?"
    "Not exactly."
    "Are you up to it?"
    "I suppose. But I'm not in the mood for chicken."
    "I never got around to fixing that anyway."
    "I hear Orlando's is still in business."
    "That place in Westport we used to go to years ago, near the Sound?"
    "That Orlando's, yes."
    "They weren't too expensive as I recall."
    "You're affluent now, so it won't matter if they are expensive."
    "True."
    "Want to try it?"
    "We'll at least get this room cleaned up first, then drive over. Okay?"
    H.J. smiled at him, a bit tentatively. "Okay."

Chapter 3
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    T he view had been modified. Now instead of just a stretch of gritty beach and the night waters of the Sound, you saw part of the neon outline of the new Tudor-style My Man Chumley Fish & Chips restaurant that had been built just down the road from Orlando's.
    "Well, we've changed some, too," observed H.J., lifting her glass of red wine to click against his glass of white.
    "Same tablecloths," Ben said. "I recognize this patch among the checks."
    The main dining room was large and less than a third filled. Their waiter, a frail old man in an oversized tuxedo, was standing over by a waterside window staring out into the night.
    "Butlers," said Ben, glancing in the direction of the fish & chips place. "My favorite old joke about butlers is the one where the little girl in Beverly Hills is asked to write a composition about poverty. When the teacher calls on her, she reads it aloud. 'This is about a very poor family. The father was poor, the mother was poor, the children were poor. Even the butler was poor.'"
    "Uh huh," responded H.J. "You told me that several times during our years together."
    "Not all jokes are funny."
    "I've noticed."
    "Some go beyond funny to profound. You could switch this one, make the kid from right here in Westport."
    Picking up a breadstick, she took a small crunching bite. "Ninety-nine clop clop," she reminded him.
    "That's an old joke, too." He sat up in his chair.
    "We're already pretty certain it—"
    "Hush," he requested. "Sure, it's an ancient joke and it runs like this—Who goes ninety-nine clop clop?"
    She waited a few seconds. "And the answer is?"
    "A centipede with a wooden leg."
    Her mouth turned down in disappointment. "That's it?"
    After making a gratified chuckling sound, he said, "I don't have as many gags stored in my mind as, say, Henny Youngman, but I can still dredge up—"
    "Yes, you've done admirably," she conceded. "Thing is, what the hell does it mean?"
    He allowed himself to slump a bit. "Well, the dying message was for you not me," he said. "It should mean something to you. Centipede with a wooden leg?"
    "Are you absolutely certain, Ben, this is the right joke?"
    "How many other payoffs to ninety-nine clop clop can there be?"
    "It isn't even funny."
    "Maybe it'll turn out to be another profound one." He sipped his wine.
    She took a deep breath, held it for a few seconds before exhaling. "Okay, people are gathered around us at the damn mall. Rick is anxious to tell me where the money is hidden but he doesn't want any innocent bystanders to know the location. He decides to—"
    "I've been thinking, H.J., that maybe he wasn't telling you where to dig up your 5,000 bucks."
    "What do you mean?"
    "From what you told me about that conversation, it could be he was really trying to tell you where to find something that could lead to money." He rested both elbows on the checkered tablecloth. "Meaning that even if we solve this particular riddle, you may not end up with cash in hand right away."
    "Whatever I find, it's got to be worth at least what he owed me."
    "But it could be drugs or—"
    "Rick wasn't in the drug business, trust me. He did some sleazy things but drugs wasn't one of his sidelines."
    "Have all your lovers since the divorce been on the sleazy side?"
    "Only a few. I do, though, tend to fall for one