Esrever Doom (Xanth) Read Free Page A

will be in Xanth as long as you need to be,” she said with certainty.
    “So be it,” he agreed. “But you won’t need to help me get there. I have the chessboard.” He touched it in his pocket.
    “It is best not to depend too much on such artifacts,” Dawn said. “Some of them are limited, so that if you use it when you don’t need to, you may not be able to use it when you do need to.”
    “Point taken,” Kody agreed.
    “Tweeter will show you to your room. You can clean up, then go out to talk with Bryce.”
    “Tweeter? Bryce?”
    “Tweeter is a bird who knows what’s what,” Picka said. “Bryce is an old Mundane who arrived here last year. Princess Harmony is courting him.”
    And there was a small nondescript bird hovering in the air before him. “Good to meet you, Tweeter,” Kody said.
    The bird flew out of the room, and Kody followed. It was apparent that animals were not just animals, here; they were people. They proceeded up winding stairs to a rather nice suite on an upper floor, complete with a made bed, dresser, bathroom, and shower.
    “This is all for me?” Kody asked.
    “Tweet.”
    Kody washed up at the sink, noting that the mirror showed him as unchanged from life. Then the glass flickered, and Picka’s skull appeared.
    “Dawn said you should eat before you go out, as it might be a long afternoon,” the skeleton said. “Tweeter will show you where.”
    He needed food in a dream realm? Evidently so, because he was getting hungry. “Thanks. I’ll be there,” Kody answered. Then he glanced at the bird. “A magic mirror?”
    “Tweet,” Tweeter agreed. He was evidently a bird of few words.
    In due course they reported to the dining nook, where the meal was already laid out: a sandwich in the shape of a realistic submarine complete with a pickle periscope, and a glass of what looked like root beer. The two children were there. “Yours,” Data said expectantly.
    He bit into the sandwich, and it was excellent. Then he sipped the drink, and jumped. It felt as if something had kicked him in the rear, though that was impossible, as he was sitting. Both children giggled, and Tweeter made a laughing tweet.
    Something was up. “Okay, what’s the joke?” he asked them.
    “It’s boot rear,” Piton said. He looked to be barely two years old, assuming skeletons aged at the rate of fleshly folk, but could speak well enough.
    Kody contemplated the drink. Root beer, boot rear. A pun that was literal. A kick in the ass. But it was nevertheless tasty and satisfying. “Thank you. I did get a kick out of it.”
    Children and bird laughed again.
    It seemed that this dream realm had a character of its own, and humor was a significant part of it. He could live with that.
    After lunch he departed the castle with Tweeter, on his way to find Bryce. The landscape was a hilly jungle with odd-looking plants and trees. He spied what had to be a pie plant, because it was growing pies, and another growing assorted shoes.
    There was a path curving around and through the scenery, meandering as if enjoying itself. The air was pleasant.
    Then Tweeter paused. “Tweet!” That sounded like alarm.
    “What is it?”
    Instead of answering the bird flew to a large tree by the side of the path, and perched on a massive lower branch. He made a gesture with one wing as if beckoning. So Kody carefully climbed up to join him there. But immediately Tweeter flew to a higher branch, and Kody followed again. Before long they both were on a high branch, peering down at the path. It was a fine view, but what was the point?
    There was a motion behind the trees, accompanied by a sort of snuffling. Then a large dark creature, a vastly oversized lizard, came walking down the path, its long body sinuously handling the curves.
    “Is that a dinosaur?” Kody asked, amazed.
    “Tweet.” That was negation.
    “Then it must be—a dragon!”
    “Tweet.” Agreement.
    The dragon heard them. It angled its head to peer up the tree. A