Ember Read Free Page A

asks.
    “Honestly?” I look at me them and they all nod in answer.
    “Give it to us straight.” Lacey smiles.
    “The good, the bad and the ugly,” Paige adds.
    I take a deep breath and let it all out. “It’s Mason. I feel like shit for what I did to him and if I’m totally honest I regret that more than the drinking.”
    Paige rubs my back. “Oh honey, I’m sure he knows that you’re sorry.”
    I shake my head. “No, he doesn’t, not how badly I really feel, anyway. I don’t think anyone can. The crap eats at me all day, every day. After I started to drink more, I’d sit there and think about how horribly I treated him, and that only made me drink even more...until, in the end, I drank a whole lot more.”
    They look at me with such intense looks of sympathy that I almost jump up and run for the bar at the other end of the pool. Fuck, this shit is hard!
    “While I was in rehab, I constantly thought back to everything I did, and then everything that Joe put me through. I knew most of it was on me because I had no control of what he did to me, but I wasn’t fooling myself in there. I know I love Mason and I know he’s the only one for me, and what did I go and do? I fucked it all up. He’s not going to want to even look at me, never mind give me a second chance, and I don’t blame him.”
    Lacey gets up and gets right in my face. “Now you listen here, Roxie! You need to stop this pity party and get your man back. He will listen to you because he has to, and you need to say it to him. You need that. You both do.”
    I understand what she’s saying and it’s the same as the doctor has told me multiple times while I was recovering, but that’s easier said than done.
    Lacey wipes at her eyes and Ria steps in. “We’re all here for you with anything you need.”
    I look around at them all and even Crystal nods her head. I do know I have them backing me up, and I’m really fucking glad I do. I’m lucky to have such good friends.

Chapter Four
    Mason
     
    I’m standing outside in the much needed fresh air with the sun beaming down on me. I should be used to the smell of the tour bus and the limited clean air, but when the girls came along with us, they fucking changed everything! Clean smelling air, windows opened and fresh food on demand...Now we don’t have any of that and, weirdly, I want it all back. I hated it at first.
    I take a huge and deep inhale from the much needed cigarette and blow out the smoke. Cole frowns at me and I do it again while smiling. He hates me smoking, which makes me love it even more.
    His phone rings and when he looks down at it, his frown becomes a stupid grin so quickly that I don’t need to ask who it is. There’s only one person who can make my brother look like that, and that’s Lacey. The love struck bastard’s face lights up as he answers so I go back to my sweet nicotine. It helps calm my nerves. As much as I love Lacey, she causes me to think about Roxie, and the more I think of Roxie the more tense I become. As fucked up as everything is, I still need her. Hell, I fucking crave her! But as much as I want her, I can’t go there again. It’s taking all of my strength to not call her and hear how she is. I try not to remember the memories of us together, the feel of her soft body, and how she responds to me, but it’s fucking hard. I thought Roxie was the woman for me, but it turns out I’m not enough for her.
    Too much shit has happened between us. I love Roxie enough to help her through her shit, but that’s it. I won’t allow myself to be vulnerable again.
    I catch sight of a roadie packing away one of the speakers into one of the tour busses, and, for a second, I think it’s Joe. My fists clench and my body tenses. He turns around and I see its Calvin. My whole body relaxes but the thought of the scumbag stays in my mind. I fucking hate that man, and I’m pissed that he’s not been fired from his job! It’s fucked up!
    I guess because Roxie hasn’t