Elijah of Buxton Read Free

mind was how fra-gile
she’d
get if she saw a toady-frog as big and round as this one.
    Like most real good ideas, this one didn’t come to us right off. One thing led to the ’nother, and after ’while me and Cooter came up with this plan that’s got toady-frogs and Ma and her sewing basket all meeting up together. In Sabbath school Mr. Travis is always telling us that the Lord loves laughter, and what could be funnier than watching Ma reaching down into her basket and getting a little surprise?
    After supper I wrapped the toady-frog in the sweater Ma had been working on and put it in her knitting basket and ran ’cross the road to hide in the drainage ditch with Cooter.
    Then, just like they always do, Ma and Pa came and sat in their rockers on the stoop, getting ready to do some relaxing. They’re laughing and carrying on and Ma put her sewing basket in her lap.
    She took her knitting spectacles out of the basket then quick closed it to make a point ’bout something with Pa. She acted like she was set to reach in and pull her knitting out but stopped at the last instance to slap at Pa’s arm. She even set the basket back on the floor and, doggone-it-all, it seemed her and Pa waren’t gonna get nothing done but talking and laughing! I was
this
close to losing my mind!
    Finally Ma put the basket back in her lap and reached in. She knowed right off something was wrong ’cause with that toady-frog added to it, her sweater weighed ’bout five pounds more than the last time she touched it.
    She twisted her head to the side to look at Pa, unwrapped the toady-frog, and it dropped smack-down in her lap. She frozed up for ’bout one second, then jumped straight out the rocker. Yarn and needles and buttons and the toady-frog and the half-knit sweater flewed all over the stoop like your guts do after you been hoop snake bit! Ma’s knitting spectacles jumped partway up her forehead and she started hopping up and down and slapping at her skirt like it’s afire! The whole time she didn’t scream nor say a word.
    It was the funniest thing I’d ever seen in my life!
    Me and Cooter near ’bout died peeking out of the ditch. It caint be good for you to try to keep a laugh inside, I was
this
close to busting clean apart!
    Ma heard us trying to smother our laughs down and stared ’cross the road. She looked like she was fixing to say something but her mouth just opened and shut over and over. Didn’t no words come out so she walked all a-shake-ity into the house.
    Pa called over tome and Cooter, “Don’t y’all move.”
    He set Ma’s rocker back up then collected all her knitting tools and put ’em back in the basket. He picked up the toady-frog and brung him ’cross the road right at me and Cooter.
    He set the toady-frog down, shooked his head, and said, “Now, Elijah. You, me, and Cooter all thought that was funny. Your ma and that there toady-frog ain’t likely to see the whole adventure quite the same way.”
    Me and Cooter tried to keep our faces serious whilst Pa was talking, but tears were rolling down both our cheeks.
    Pa said, “Past a wart or two, I don’t think the toady-frog’s gunn cause you no grieving. But your ma …” He whistled low and long. “… she’s a whole ’nother story. So whilst you’s out here rolling ’bout in that ditch enjoying the tormentation you caused your ma and that toady-frog, why don’t you save us all some trouble and go in them woods and break off whichever switch it is you wants her to beat you with. ’Cause you know the next time you and her is in the same room together, that’s what’s gunn happen.
    â€œCooter,” Pa said, “today your lucky day, son. You’s ’bout to get two shows for the price of one. If you thought that there was funny, you just wait till you see the way ’Lijah starts a-hopping and