Doublecrossed Read Free Page B

starting to reach the rational part of her brain, and she had to stop before it knocked her to her knees. She was so sad and lonely. Bracingly lonely. She didn’t want to be alone for another minute, but she didn’t want to talk to anyone either…especially anyone who knew Marina. So she put her shoes on, combed her hair and quickly washed her face, then drove to her favorite local bar.
    Talking would only have made things worse, so she was relieved to see no one that she knew. Ordering a beer and a burger, she sat at the far end of the bar, waiting for her food. After a few minutes a woman approached and tentatively asked, “Mind if I join you?”
    Callie snapped out of her fog and saw a woman who’d previously caught her eye a couple of times. “Uhm, sure, but I’m not very good company tonight.”
    “Something wrong?” the woman asked, signaling the bartender for a beer. “I’m Linda, by the way.”
    “Hi. Callie. Nice to meet you.” She took a sip of her beer. “I just found out my girlfriend cheated on me.”
    “Ooo. Every time I’ve seen you here you’ve been with a group. I thought you were single.”
    “No, I’m not…at least not yet. That might change. Soon.”
    “Well, I don’t want to wish you bad luck, but…” Linda smiled, her face made all the more attractive by a warm, somewhat shy expression.
    Taking another drink, Callie surveyed the woman quickly. She was just her type and she knew she could easily take the woman home without a twinge of guilt. But she also knew she’d be doing it to even things up between her and Marina. And she would never, ever use another woman like that. “I’d love to hang out if I wind up single. But tonight…well, tonight I don’t know what in the heck I am.”

    *

    By the time she got home Marina had called her fifteen times. She’d also sent an e-mail, obviously written on her PDA while waiting at the airport.

    Callie,

I don’t have a good excuse for what I did. I know it was wrong, and I knew it was wrong at the time. All I can say is that I screwed up and I’m sorry. I know that isn’t much, but it’s all I have.

I don’t know if it matters, but I don’t have feelings for Angela. She’s just a co-worker, a co-worker I let myself believe I had to make happy. I know how stupid that sounds now, but that night it seemed like my only option.

I didn’t think of it as cheating, even though it obviously was. It didn’t seem like it because I didn’t think it would put our relationship at risk, and that’s the basis of our agreement, right?

Angela lives a thousand miles away, she’s in a relationship, and she’s a co-worker. I’m not seriously attracted to her and I know she feels the same about me. For her it was just a way to blow off some steam after a mind-fuck of a client dinner. For me it was a way to make sure I hadn’t wasted the last 3 years of my career.

The facts don’t excuse what I did, and they certainly don’t make it any less hurtful for you, I’m sure. But I want you to know what happened, for what it’s worth.

I love you, Callie, and I desperately want your forgiveness. Please give me the chance to explain this all better.

    Marina.

    She looked at the note for a long time, but realizing how detached she felt, knew she was wasting her time. Time she could have spent in bed, where the big, fluffy pillows were practically calling her name.

    *

    After twelve hours of a near-coma, Callie finally dragged herself out of bed. She tried to go about her day, but it took an hour to manage a shower and a bowl of cereal. Making coffee was out of the question. It was too complex for the brainpower she had available. She surprised herself a little by picking up the phone and making a call.
    “Dad?”
    “Hi.” He sounded sunny and wide awake. “What’s up?”
    “Can I come see you?”
    “I’m playing golf at one, but…I can cancel. Is everything all right? You don’t sound like yourself.”
    “I’ve heard that a