Don’t Forget to Remember Me Read Free Page A

had just opened up and swallowed me
alive and there was nothing I could do to claw out of it.
    “How far along was she?” Aaron asked.
    “A few weeks, maybe,” Jenna answered softly.
“We managed to get the bleeding stopped fairly easily and she won’t
need a D and C.”
    I moved away from both of
them, not wanting anyone touching me. I could hear them talking but
it was like I was hearing their voices from underwater.
“ Five weeks since
we were last together, but technically they’d measure it as seven,”
I said more to myself than to either of them. The night she told me
about Paris, the night I put the ring on her finger…the night we
conceived our child.
    Jesus, is there anything else you can do to
me? To her?
    “Weren’t you guys using protection,
Ryan?”
    “Aaron. Stop being an insensitive ass,”
Jenna shot at him. “Now isn’t the time for that.”
    I tried to swallow the lump in my throat,
nodding. “Um…yeah. Julia was on the pill, but she’d had a sinus
infection and was on an antibiotic course shortly before we were
together. I’m such an idiot! I should have realized…This is my
fault. I should have protected her.”
    “Julia wouldn’t think that way, Ryan. I’m
sure she was happy about the baby. She loves you so much,” Jen
answered.
    The gravity of what this meant rushed over
me in waves. Yes, she would have been so happy.
    My child…with Julia. I’d
imagined what it would be like to see her swell with the evidence
of the mad love we felt for each other. Nothing would have made me
happier. Now, I felt cheated at the unfairness of it. And
Julia…she’d be the most wonderful, giving mother. I saw it in the
way she took care of everyone around her. I was angry because now
she lay near death, and when she woke up… if she woke up, I had to tell her she’d lost our
child. Our baby.
    “That’s why she came to Boston.” My heart
constricted to the point of pain. “She wouldn’t tell me something
like that over the phone.”
    “Ryan, I’m so sorry. You’ll be able to have
more children,” Jenna’s voice was trembling and she wiped at her
eyes. Aaron gathered her close to his side.
    “If she survives, you mean?” I asked
hopelessly.
    “Ryan, I should beat you senseless! Stop
thinking like that. Julia needs you to be strong right now. She
needs you like she’s never needed you, so get your head out of your
ass and start being more positive! We’re all here and we’re going
to get her through this.” Aaron’s voice was loud and his tone hard.
It should have shaken me out of my heartbroken haze, but it
didn’t.
    “When Paul and Marin get here, don’t tell
them about this. They have enough grief to deal with because of
Julia. They don’t need more to contend with.”
    I shook my head silently, then turned and
rushed from the room. I had to get out of there, had to be alone to
deal with the agony before I could go up and be with Julia. I had
to run, scream or both or I’d explode.
    I ran as fast as I could, the cool night air
rushing over my face and through my hair. I ran so fast that the
tears were pushed back across my temples by the wind. Finally, when
I reached the footpath that ran through the park near the hospital,
I slowed my pace and sank down on my haunches. It was the middle of
the night and no one was around. No sounds except the crickets, a
few birds and some distant traffic.
    Why? My heart screamed.
Why?! Why?! Fucking Why ?!
    My shoulders started to
shake violently and I wrapped my arms around myself. Pretty soon my
anguished voice was crying out my thoughts. “Why, in God’s name?
Jesus, why ?? Ahhhhhhhhhh!!! Why did
this happen??!!” I screamed into the silent night. I wasn’t sure
how long I remained where I was, crying for long minutes. “She
didn’t deserve this. She’s so good,” I cried brokenly, but more
softly now.
    I furiously brushed the tears from my face before starting my
walk back to the hospital. What was I doing? I had to get
to