Desperate Measures Read Free Page A

tell you off. When Mum was in hospital they never told her off and she used to knock things over all the time.
    There was this lady there and she used to come and do Mum’s lovely long hair every week until it went all thin and wispy and then she’d only let me do it. I’d bring in all my hair slides and scrunchees and lay them on the bed cover and she’d pick which ones she wanted. Then I’d put them in really gently and bring the little mirror over and show her and it would make her smile for a little while.
    I didn’t have time to finish my card for Sarah. It says
GET WE
. After Paul rushed off I went into the kitchen and told Mrs Frankish he had forgotten to take the clean nightie with him and Sarah would get into big trouble. She said couldn’t I see she was busy cooking tea and told me to go away and not to be so silly. She had three blobs of orange sploppy stuff on her black jacket. They looked like three orange ladybirds.
    Tea was yucky. It was supposed to be spaghetti hoops with little sausages but because she’s a witch I think she bunged in some chopped worms or frogs’ eyeballs when no one was looking. Jamie ate mine. Do you know, he said he really liked it! Vicky said she was a vegetibblarian and made herself a ham sandwich when Mrs Frankish was on the phone. Then Vicky and me got the birthday cake out of the box and put the candles on it. I blew them all out twice and made two wishes but I can’t tell you what I wished for because if I do they won’t come true. Sorry. I had three and a half pieces of cake because Vicky left most of hers.
    After tea we went out into the garden to Jamie’s tree house. He didn’t usually let us in but he said we could come up as long as we didn’t touch anything. Vicky told him she wouldn’t want to touch his scrotty old rubbish but she came anyway to get away from Mrs Frankish.
    I loved Jamie’s tree house, it was like a little wooden nest but instead of soft feathers to line it, he’d pinned up all the postcards from Dad. He’s a lorry driver and when he used to drive somewhere he would always post Jamie a card. He’s got millions and billions and trillions. I tried tocount them once but I kept getting it wrong. It’s a good job Dad doesn’t send them any more because there isn’t any space left.
    Once at school Jamie told this boy Ollie Stanmore about them all but Ollie didn’t believe him so Jamie whacked him. Jamie does a lot of whacking. I heard Mrs Frankish tell Sarah that it’s because he’s got a lot of emotional baggage but that’s not true he’s only got his school rucksack. (Mrs Frankish gave him five bin liners for all his stuff!) Sarah and Paul had to go and see Mr Biggs and Mrs Featherstone because Jamie gave Ollie a nosebleed once and he nearly got secluded from school. Jamie said he didn’t care and it served him right but then Mrs Featherstone asked what would your Dad say if he knew what you’d done, and he started crying. He never cries. Once he fell off the climbing frame in the park and broke his arm but he didn’t even cry then and the bone was all poking out and there was blood everywhere.
    I tried to count all the postcards again. I got to twenty-seven but then I gave up because I couldn’t concentrate. I wished Dad was still living with us. Every Friday night when he came back from work, he used to bring me a big tube of Smarties. He’d watch me line them up on the table in their different colours and then I’d count them and do some sums before I ate them. He always helped me get the answers right. Sometimes, when he used to come home late, Mum would let us wait up for him. He’d come through the front door and we’d run up to him in a mad bundle. He was the strongest man in the whole world. He could pick us all up in one go and swing us round andMum would laugh and yell at him to watch the ornaments. Sometimes when I try to talk to Vicky about Mum and Dad she says there’s no point remembering anything because it’s