Deconstructing Dylan Read Free Page B

a truly intimate moment,” she said, stopping by the door to the girls’ lavatory.
    I felt the put-down sting. She might as well have slapped me on the face. And it showed.
    Then this really crazy thing happened. She let down her guard. Her face softened. She opened the door to the girls’ room. “Wait here,” she said.
    I waited. When she came back out, she looked me in the eye this time. The fire was still there but it wasn’t anger. “What’s your favourite book?” she asked.
    I swallowed and took a chance on telling her the truth. “
The Field Book of Insects
by Frank E. Lutz,” I said and waited for her to laugh.
    â€œInteresting choice. I haven’t read it but I bet it’s a real page-turner. You really into bugs?”
    â€œYes. Ever since I was a kid. I can identify a tiger beetle in its larval stage and tell you if it is going to be a male or a female.”
    There was a hint of a smile. “You are so weird, you know.”
    â€œI know.”
    â€œBut weird is good. Smart and weird is a good combination.”
    I couldn’t help myself. I smiled. “Thanks,” I said. “What’s your favourite book?”
    â€œ
The Tibetan Book of the Dead
,” she said. “Ever read it?”
    â€œNo, but I’ve read lots of books about death and dying. It’s one of my favourite subjects. Is it in the library?”
    â€œHere? I doubt it.”
    â€œWell, in the public library?”
    â€œProbably. But I’ll loan you my copy.”
    â€œCool.”
    â€œIf I loan it to you, you have to read it.”
    â€œI will.”
    â€œAre you afraid of dying?”
    â€œA little.”
    â€œI’m not,” she said with great certainty. “Life scares the shit out of me but not dying.”
    Now she was scaring me. “You’re not like&hellips;?”
    â€œSuicidal? Hell no. I’m not ready to die. You have to prepare yourself for that, like it says in
The Tibetan Book ofthe Dead
. It takes a whole lifetime for most of us to be ready for the liberation from our bodies. It’s a lot of hard work. I’ve gotta suffer for a long time so I can prepare myself.”
    I felt I had just met a kindred spirit or even my soul-mate. “School is a good place to suffer,” I said. “Can I suffer with you?”
    â€œYou already are, I think. But yeah. Sure. You’re cute. Weird, smart, and cute. And I want you to teach me some stuff about bugs.”
    â€œI will.”
    She stopped by a classroom and announced, “Chemistry. I took chemistry. Nothing sucks in school worse than chemistry. I took it, though, so I could learn to suffer well. I better get in there and go to it.”
    â€œRobyn,” I said. “There’s something you should know about me.”
    â€œAnd that is?”
    â€œI’m different.”
    â€œSo?”
    â€œThere’s something about me that’s not quite right. I don’t mean like a bad heart or liver or anything. And I don’t mean like I’m crazy. It’s something else I can’t quite nail down but I need to figure out what it is.”
    â€œOkay. That’s okay with me. I’ll help you if you like. It’ll be like a science project.”

C HAPTER F IVE
    My parents were way too protective of me when I was growing up. They thought I would choke on popcorn. They thought I would be run over by a bus. They thought I would catch a deadly disease. They thought I would fall out of a tree.
    I did fall out of a tree when I was thirteen. I fell from very high and I fell very fast. It was an oak tree, I remember. On the hard ground I was alone and I was unconscious. No one found me. I just woke up with a headache and a very sore shoulder. I was fascinated by the fact that I had gone away and come back. I don’t know where I went. I just know that it was blue and it was very beautiful. There was no real me there, just sky. I had