had gone on to the great beyond. Now he only haunted my memory.
My throat tightened as I grabbed the carafe off the coffeemaker, rinsed it at the sink and began the brewing process. I heard Tucker drag back a chair at the table behind me and sink into it.
âYouâve seen her again,â he said. âGillian, I mean.â
I nodded without looking back at him. I couldnât, just then, because my eyes were burning with tears. âShe was at the funeral.â
Tucker didnât throw a net over me, for my own safety and that of others, or anything like that. He was the most rational man Iâd ever known, and his brain was heavily weighted to the left, but as a child, heâd had an experience with a ghost himself. Heâd believed me when I told him about seeing Nick, and Gillian, too.
I donât know what I would have done if he hadnât.
âShe doesnât talk, Tuck,â I said, groping to assemble the coffee. Open the can, spoon in ground java beans.
âShe wouldnât,â Tucker answered. âShe was a deaf-mute.â
I turned, staring at him, forgetting all about my wet eyes. He got up, took the carafe from my hands, poured the water into the top of the coffeemaker and pushed the button.
âI guess that shoots the theory that people leave their disabilities behind when they die,â he said when I couldnât get a word out of my mouth.
âThereâs apparently some kind of transition phase for some people,â I replied when I was sure my voice box hadnât seized and rusted. âIn between death and whatever comes next, that is.â I paused, moved away from him to get two mugs down off a cupboard shelf and rinse them out with hot water. âWhy didnât you tell me Gillian couldnât hear or speak?â
Tucker leaned against the counter, his arms folded, the ancient coffeemaker chortling and surging behind him, like a rocket trying to take off but not quite having the momentum. Tilting his head slightly to one side, he answered, âIt didnât come up, Moje. We havenât talked that much lately.â
âShe didnât see who killed her,â I told him. âGod, I hope it was quickâthat she didnât suffer, or have time to be scared.â I finally faced him. âTucker, was sheâwas sheâshe wasnâtââ
âShe wasnât molested,â Tucker said.
Relief swept through me with such force that my knees threatened to give out, and Tucker crossed the room in a couple of strides, took me by the shoulders and lowered me gently into a chair.
âHow did she die?â I asked very softly. I didnât want to know, but at the same time I had to, or I was going to go crazy speculating.
Tucker crouched in front of my chair, holding both my hands in his. The pads of his thumbs felt only too good, chafing the centers of my palms. âYou canât tell anybody, Moje,â he said. âThatâs really important.â
I knew that. Iâd read The Damn Foolâs Guide to Criminal Investigation. The police always keep certain pertinent details of any crime under wraps, for a lot of reasons, not the least of which is the danger of compromising the case if word gets out before the trial.
âTell me,â I said.
âGillian was strangled,â he told me. âWith a piece of thin wire.â
I swayed in my chair. âOh, my Godââ
âAccording to the ME, it happened quickly,â Tucker said, but he looked as though he was thinking the same thing I was.
Not quickly enough.
âYouâre sure she ruled out the stepfather?â he asked when I didnât say anything.
I nodded. âI asked her twice.â
âMoje,â Tucker told me after rising from his haunches and taking a chair near mine, âhe has an arrest record. Vince Erland, I mean. Solicitation of a minorâsexual context.â
My stomach roiled. I slapped a hand
Temple Grandin, Richard Panek