Crucible of Fate Read Free Page A

that Logan would have done a better job than me.
    I shared my thoughts with Yuri but no one else. Even as everything threatened to crash down around me, he was the only one I trusted with that secret.
     
     
    T HE problem was that even though they knew me, with my change of status, the people I brought with me suddenly expected me to simply know what to do. It was, I imagined, what happened when one became a parent. All at once you were expected to know things no one would ever suppose you needed to know otherwise. The weight of their scrutiny made me lash out.
    That morning, as I took my usual walk with those closest to me—my maahes, my sylvan, and my sheseru—I was again venting my frustration. There was no way to stop it. I’d tried, but even with all good intentions, the minute they turned to me for guidance, I got pissed and lashed out. I was a horror to be around and I knew it. I was the biggest of asshats to Crane Adams, my maahes, prince of my tribe. Normally, he gave it back with both barrels. He could speak up for himself. Why he hadn’t, why he was just taking whatever I dished out, had been bothering me for the past month. I was ready to have it out with him once and for all.
    “So, this Elham,” I said softly as I walked the villa with Crane and Taj Chalthoum, my sheseru, and Mikhail Gorgerin, my sylvan. “He has a lot to say about me.”
    “Yes, he does,” Crane agreed. “And I’ll handle it.”
    “Which means what?”
    “Which means,” he said as he sighed, “that I’m talking to him, and it will either escalate and I’ll meet him in the pit or it won’t and we won’t.”
    Mikhail cleared his throat.
    As I glanced at Mikhail over my right shoulder, he gave me a slight shake of his head. But how could I drop it?
    “Crane.” I took a breath. “You realize that this man, this Elham, is the brother of Ammon El Masry, the last—”
    “I know exactly who he is.” Crane gave me a slight smirk so unlike him I almost lost my train of thought.
    Crane Adams never did anything just a little . He laughed big and loud, he had adamant thoughts on subjects that were none of his business, and he poked and prodded until you just confessed your heart to him to get him to shut up. He was strong and kind and fair, and so much more than annoying. But I had never, ever, seen him subdued and quiet. The fact that all his passion and vitality had simply drained out of him was driving me out of my mind. He wasn’t himself anymore. He was simply present.
    “What the fuck is the matter with you?” I stopped in place.
    He kept walking. Everyone else stayed with me, the procession halted.
    “Crane!” I barked.
    He let out a deep sigh and rounded on me.
    I waited expectantly.
    He tipped his head sideways because, apparently, he was waiting on me.
    “Crane—”
    “My semel.”
    I closed on him fast, pointing at his chest. “Don’t fuckin’ semel me. What the hell is wrong with you?”
    “In what way?”
    “In every way!” I snarled.
    He crossed his arms. “Am I not the maahes of this tribe?”
    “You know goddamn good and well that you’re the maahes! What the fuck does that—”
    “Then allow me to perform the duties of my station and conduct affairs as I see fit. If I need help, I’ll ask for it. If I mess up, you’ll definitely hear about it. But until then, don’t worry.”
    “I have to worry! Elham El Masry announced his intention to meet my maahes in the pit!”
    “I’m well aware.”
    “Crane! He was in line to be semel-aten! Since I killed Ammon, he’s out, and now he wants to be maahes because he can mess with me and my plans if he’s in your spot.”
    “Again.” He sounded annoyed. “I know.”
    “By law, anyone can challenge your position and—”
    “My semel—”
    “Crane,” I said, my voice rising in anger and frustration. “I don’t want Ammon El Masry’s little brother in my private circle! As maahes, he would hold considerable power and eventually could sway