Critical Failures III (Caverns and Creatures Book 3) Read Free Page B

clinic in Bay St. Louis in your car. How’s your phone battery?”
    “Low,” said Julian. “But I’ve got a charger in the car.”
    Tim grabbed his keys off the desk and walked out of the office, back into the dining area. “Chaz, you and Dave are coming with me. We’re going on a trip to Pedo-topia.”
    “What’s up with the pedophiles?” asked Chaz. “Are you looking to get laid?”
    “I’ll explain on the way,” said Tim, tossing Chaz the keys. “You’re driving.”

Chapter 2
     
    “I’m sorry it’s got to be this way, Cooper,” said Julian, holding open the trunk of his mom's Volkswagen Passat.
    “It’s cool,” said Cooper, shoving the tire-change kit to one side.
    “Cops will arrest a guy for being black around here,” said Julian. “If they saw you, I think they’d just open fire.”
    Cooper climbed into the trunk, rested his head on the tire-change kit, and curled into a fetal position. “I said it’s cool. I don’t mind riding in the trunk.”
    “And there are my back seats to consider,” said Julian. “I mean, I’d prefer you didn’t soil yourself in the trunk either, but it’s easier to –”
    “Dude, stop talking.”
    “Okay, here we go. Watch your fingers.” Julian closed the trunk then opened the front passenger door. “Come on, Professor. Hop in.”
    “What sort of carriage is this?” asked Professor Goosewaddle. “Shall I summon some steeds to pull it?”
    “I’ll take care of it,” said Julian. “Just get in and sit down.”
    The professor cautiously crawled up onto the passenger’s seat. Julian closed the door behind him, walked around the front of the car to the driver’s side, and looked up into the sky.
    “Ravenus?” Julian called out.
    “Right here, sir,” said Ravenus, circling down from around the other side of the Chicken Hut.
    “I thought you were on the beach scrounging for food.”
    “I had a look.”
    “Did you find anything you liked.”
    “Bits and bobs, sir.”
    Julian opened the back door of his car. “I’m going to need you to ride in back. “In fact, it’s probably best if you stay down on the floor behind my seat, just so nobody sees you. We’re trying to keep a low profile. Is that okay?”
    “I live only to serve you, master Julian.” Ravenus hopped into the back footwell.
    Julian closed the door behind Ravenus and got into driver’s seat. He leaned past the professor and pulled the seatbelt over him.
    “What is the meaning of this?” Professor Goosewaddle demanded. Julian only just got the belt clicked into place as the professor tried to squirm his way out of it. “I’m warning you, elf! Release me this instant, or so help me!” His tiny right hand glowed red as a ball of fire grew in the palm.
    “Dude, chill out!” said Julian. “It’s just to keep you safe. Look, I’m wearing one, too.” He pulled his own seatbelt across his chest and clicked it into place.
    “Oh,” said the professor. He closed his hand around the fiery sphere, and the inside of the car became dark once again. “Sorry.”
    Julian turned the key in the ignition. The engine rumbled to life. Professor Goosewaddle pressed his lips together, as if trying to hold back a torrent of questions. When Julian put the car into gear and pulled out of the parking space, the gnomish professor cried out.
    “By the gods, it moves!”
    Julian smiled. “Oh, it moves all right. You ain’t seen nothing yet.” He shifted to second gear and pulled out onto Highway 90. He stayed in second gear a little while longer than he normally would have while he accelerated, enjoying the wide-eyed shock on Goosewaddle’s face. Then he cycled up to fifth gear as he approached his target speed of a non-suspicious five miles-per-hour over the speed limit.
    “What manner of sorcery propels this vehicle?” asked the professor, running a finger across the cracked vinyl of the interior door handle.
    “Um…” said Julian, unsure of how to answer. “Internal