Courageous: Afterlife Book Four Read Free Page A

He climbed me, and then kissed me passionately. Soon his kisses became demanding, insistent. I closed my eyes and felt his touches. He moaned and muttered under his breath.
    "How I have longed for this," he said. "How I have wanted this for so long."
    I let him touch me yet felt suddenly so trapped, like the weight of his body was holding me down, pressing me, suffocating me. I touched his blond hair gently. I was being silly, I thought. Probably because we hadn't been close for so long. I closed my eyes and leaned my head backwards, making an effort to try and relax my body, but it felt so incredibly tense. Was it the pregnancy? Was I afraid something would happen to the child? That was just crazy; I thought and became mad at myself for feeling like this. Not now, I thought. Not now that we were finally married and could be together the right way. But the more Mick touched me and kissed me the more tense my body became. Soon I was gasping for air. I felt a heat grow inside of me and I was suffocating, like I couldn't get air enough in my lungs. It was stupid, I told myself. It was insane.  I didn't even have lungs anymore, I didn't need the air, just like I didn't really need to eat or sleep, but did it anyway because it was nice and felt good. It was only a feeling taking control of me, a feeling telling me that I couldn't breathe. Just like when Mick had pulled me underwater back on my second year. I didn't know it back then that I didn't have to breathe to survive, but now I knew. Now more than ever it didn't matter. I inhaled deeply then exhaled to try and keep calm, but it didn't help. Mick moaned and kept kissing me. Suddenly I felt I was back at the cliffs by the ocean that night six months ago when Mick was mad at me. I gasped for air again and tossed and turned underneath Mick while pictures of Mick on top of me, holding me down and me - knowing I could fight him off yet letting him do it anyway because I felt he deserved it. I felt I owed it to him.
    "Stop, Mick," I cried now. "Please get off me." I squirmed, avoiding his kisses then finally I kicked him off.
    Mick blew back into the air. He floated above me with a confused look on his face.
    "Just ... just ..." I moaned and sat up. I covered myself with my dress. "Please just give me a little space."
    Mick still stared at me in confusion. "What's going on, Meghan?" He came closer. I lifted my hand to stop him.
    "But ..." he stuttered. "But it's our wedding day ... ?"
    I closed my eyes. "I know," I said. "It's just ...” I sighed deeply. "It's just a little much right now. There has been a little too much lately. I feel ... I don't feel good. I'm so sorry, Mick. It's just me. Maybe it's the pregnancy. I'm a mess."
    Mick stared at me angrily. "Well that's just perfect," he said. "My own wife won't even make love to me on my wedding day!"
    "I said I was sorry," I said. "What more do you want from me?"
    "There is always something isn't there, Meghan? With you there is always something. Can we never just be with each other like ordinary married couples? It's always about you and your emotions. Can't we just for once do what I want?"
    I bowed my head feeling a huge load of guilt. "I'm sorry, Mick. Can't we just try again later? Maybe it's just the stress from the wedding and having the baby and everything. "
    "Stress from the wedding? I did everything; you haven't lifted a finger to prepare for this wedding. You didn't even bother to pick out your own dress. Who did that for you? Yes, that's right. I did. I did everything. All you did was moan and complain."
    "Okay. I hear what you're saying, Mick.  It'll be better, I promise you. I'll be better, I'll make it alright. I know I can be a good wife to you. The kind of wife you always wanted. Just give me a little time."
    Mick looked at me, and then smiled. He came closer and sat on the bed next to me. He grabbed my hand and held it tight. "Well okay then. I don't want us to fight on our wedding day," he said. His blue