Conrad & Eleanor Read Free Page A

getting late now. She remembers tomorrow. It’s the deadline for her grant application and there are still several questions outstanding. She hasn’t practised her evening lecture; there’s a research committee meeting. She’ll have to go in at 7am to prepare. What’s to be done about Con? Nothing. She’ll get her freedom because he’s found someone better, and it will serve her right.
    She tidies the dishes, puts the kettle on, and turns on the outside light for Paul. She wishes he wasn’t coming. But then he arrives on a waft of cold air and alcohol.
    â€˜Should you have driven? Aren’t you over the —’
    â€˜Mother, stop.’ He peels off his coat and they head to the kitchen where El makes them tea. ‘Did you have a fight?’
    â€˜No.’
    â€˜He didn’t say anything about —’
    â€˜Nothing.’
    â€˜So where d’you think he is?’
    â€˜I have no idea.’
    â€˜So what you gonna do?’
    â€˜He’s a grown man. If he’s choosing, for whatever reason, not to come home, presumably in the fullness of time he’ll let me know why.’
    Paul puts his mug on the table and paces the kitchen.
    â€˜Look, Paul, if something was wrong I’d have heard. He’s got his passport, his mobile, his laptop —’
    â€˜How long you gonna leave it?’
    â€˜Till what?’
    â€˜Till you try to find him?’
    El laughs. ‘How can I try to find him? He’s in Germany. Or could be further afield by now, if he likes. How can I find one man, in the world, if he doesn’t want to be found?’
    â€˜But why would he go and not tell anyone? What’s he done?’
    â€˜I’m assuming he’s with someone else.’
    Paul stops. ‘Do you know?’
    She shakes her head.
    â€˜Did you guess? Did he act like —’
    â€˜No.’
    There’s a silence. ‘But why shouldn’t he, eh?’ says Paul. ‘You make me sick, you two.’
    El drains her tea and stands up. ‘Me too. We make me sick too. But there we are. I’ve put clean sheets on Dan’s bed if you want to stay.’
    â€˜What about the police?’
    â€˜The police?’
    â€˜They trace people who’re missing, don’t they?’
    â€˜Not if someone has gone off on his own volition.’
    â€˜Why wouldn’t he tell one of us? Why wouldn’t he tell Cara?’
    â€˜Because he’s punishing me, I suppose.’
    â€˜We can all keep a secret from you,’ says Paul drily. ‘I promise you, none of us knows where he is.’
    â€˜Well, it would be a waste of police time. You ring the police if a ten-year-old doesn’t come home, not an independent adult.’
    Paul is staring into the grain of the table.
    â€˜Paul? I’m going to bed.’
    He doesn’t answer. As El undresses she remembers she forgot to phone Louis.
    El is asleep when her phone rings. She leaps up, knocking over her water glass as she grabs for the phone. This will be it. But the phone twinkles CARA at her.
    â€˜Hello?’
    â€˜You’ve bolted the door. I can’t get in.’
    El pulls on her dressing gown. Paul appears in Dan’s doorway. ‘Is it —?’
    â€˜Cara.’
    â€˜Fuck’s sake.’ He retreats and slams the door.
    Cara is dragging a wheelie case. She stands in the hall looking tragically at El as she locks up again. ‘You haven’t heard anything, have you?’
    â€˜No.’
    Cara’s eyes are welling up; El wonders if she has been kicked out by her nasty boyfriend. Stiffly she holds out her arms and after a moment Cara leans against her and lets herself be enfolded. It is like hugging an empty coat on a hanger. El remembers sickeningly that she has forgotten to worry about Cara for quite a long time. Why didn’t Con tell her Cara was bad again? ‘It’s very late,’ she murmurs.
    â€˜I can’t