Cloudy With a Chance of Marriage Read Free Page A

hand-painted at the top of the Continental dress stick upon which she leaned.
    “Your housewarming celebrations are ill-advised, Captain,” the woman continued. “You should take up your command again and go back to sea. The sooner the better.”
    Jilly would have smiled triumphantly at the captain, but she was far too wounded by the woman’s scathing rhetoric about herself to bother.
    “Do tell me you three simpletons already knew that despite its exalted location in Mayfair, Dreare Street is considered an unlucky address,” the crone uttered, her words slithering out like a curse.
    There was a dreadful stillness.
    What a thing to say! Otis gave a small cry and blinked madly. Jilly wanted to speak, but once again, she couldn’t find her voice. Captain Arrow appeared completely unperturbed. Perhaps his having dealt with pirates had something to do with that.
    The woman thrust a withered finger toward Jilly. “You, Miss Jones, are the first to buy here in over thirty years. And Captain Arrow, you’re the first person to voluntarily accept your inheritance. I know for a fact that your second cousin thrice removed attempted to give the house to at least three other distant relatives of yours. None of them wanted it because it’s on Dreare Street.”
    There was a beat of awful silence. Jilly’s head felt as if it would burst.
    “No!” Otis flung a hand to his brow. “ Why, God? Why us?” And he drew out an outrageously oversized lace handkerchief with which he covered his face and proceeded to burst into tears.
    “That’s the silliest thing I’ve ever heard,” Jilly said to the woman, her indignation of monumental proportions. “We live here now. And we refuse to believe such nonsense.”
    She’d already had her fair share of bad luck. She refused to have more.
    “Nonsense?” The woman walked over the threshold. “Did you, the owner of a bookstore with a ridiculous name, say nonsense ?”
    Jilly’s eyes widened, but she nodded. That small figure at the top of the cane seemed to stare malevolently at her.
    The woman stamped her walking stick and shook Jilly out of her trance. “Lady Duchamp doesn’t deal in nonsense. She’s too clever. And she knows that one should avoid fools.”
    “Yes, but who are you, madam?” Otis asked.
    The woman narrowed her eyes at him. “Why, Lady Duchamp, you idiot.” She turned to Captain Arrow next. “You’re disgustingly handsome. Aware of it, too, aren’t you? I’m sure you think staring at me as if you can see my underthings will charm me. But I’m not charmed. Not in the least.”
    Jilly shared a look with Otis. Otis almost giggled but didn’t.
    Thank God.
    Captain Arrow stepped forward and kissed Lady Duchamp’s hand. “I find that women with tongues like adders usually have good reason for their vitriol, or at least did at one time. Consider me a friend should you ever need one, my lady.”
    “Pah,” is all she said back, then lowered her brows. “I am the oldest resident on this street and the most put-upon. I despise everyone who lives here and only wish they had more bad luck than they already have. I hope a tree falls through your shop window in a storm, young lady, drenching all your books, and as for you”—she shoved a finger at Captain Arrow’s chest—“you and your loutish friends … I hope the pox visits your house and kills you all.”
    “What about me?” Otis looked terribly offended at being left out.
    Lady Duchamp pointed the end of her stick at him. “You, sir, are already so pathetic, I can think of nothing to worsen your lot in life. You are the epitome of failure and misery.”
    Otis looked well satisfied with the insult.
    The old woman turned on her heel and walked away at a snail’s pace. They could have easily gone after her to deliver their own insults, but Jilly knew—and apparently Otis and Captain Arrow did, as well—that such a harpy would be impervious to any barbs.
    Another beat of silence passed, broken only by