Circus of the Unseen Read Free Page B

herself.
    I walked as far as the village green, and stopped. Josephine, Granny’s oldest friend, lived just the other side of it, only another five minutes away, but I suddenly felt terrible about leaving Granny. I had to get back. I started to walk home, then picked up speed until I was actually running. Weirdly, the dolls were sitting just outside the cabin when I got there. Maybe she was annoyed I hadn’t taken them with me. I picked them up and went to open the door. It was locked.
    â€˜Granny? Are you still there?’
    She didn’t answer. I went to the window. The shutters were closed, and I could smell burning. There was smoke coming from under the cabin door.
    â€˜Granny!’ I screamed.
    I threw down the dolls, pulled on the handle and kicked at the door, but nothing made any difference. It felt like it was bolted from the inside. I ran to the house and called 999 from Granny’s landline and rushed back to the cabin. The chickens were flapping and screeching and I could hardly breathe for all the smoke. It wasn’t long before the fire engine came, and then the whole village. I watched, everyone watched, as the firemen battered down the cabin door and stormed inside. I rushed after them, but Josephine dragged me back by my coat.
    I was shaking like mad when I gathered up the dolls, and I saw that the moon was just a great big dirty smear in the sky. I couldn’t get that lost look on her face out of my head.

Chapter Two
    I don’t know how long I’d been there, but sometime later Mum, Dad and Daisy came to Josephine’s. Mum was in an awful state. She came at me like a crazy person and asked me over and over again if I was all right. When she eventually let go of me, she begged me to tell her how it had happened, what we were doing in the cabin.
    How could it have happened, Rosie? How could it?
Why did you leave her
?
    I couldn’t say anything. I just sat there, listening to her words, but not really feeling anything. Dad tried to get Mum to have a lie-down but she wouldn’t, she couldn’t. Then Dad told me I shouldn’t feel bad about leaving Granny alone, that it was an accident, and there was nothing anyone could have done. I knew he was saying that to make me feel better, but I also knew I could have done something, and I knew I shouldn’t have left her there. We should have gone back to the house, or we should have both gone to Josephine’s. I fetched my coat.
    â€˜We painted these for you.’ I gave Josephine the eggs, then I gave Daisy her set of dolls, and I started to cry. At some point Dad carried me up to bed, but I didn’t sleep. I spent all night beating myself up for leaving her, but not just that. I also couldn’t stop thinking about all that stuff she’d said about living in Poland, and how crazy she’d gone looking for the necklace. I guessed it was from the man she’d fallen in love with there. He had to be her ‘Bear’. Maybe she’d been missing him all this time and had never said. Maybe she’d kept it bottled up all these years, and then tidying up and remembering the necklace had brought it all out. I didn’t know, and now I never would.
    We stayed with Josephine while Dad sorted out the funeral. Those days passed in numbness. No one said very much, and most of what was said was about the ‘arrangements’. We were detached from what had happened, and each other, but at least Mum was calmer.
    The night before the funeral, Mum and Dad said I didn’t have to go, but I did. As much as I was scared of it, I had to be there. I was up and dressed far too early, but didn’t want to go downstairs, because that meant it was starting to happen, and I didn’t want to feel it happening, because that would make it true. I felt numb and jittery at the same time, suspended between everything. Nothing felt real. Nothing could exist until today was over. I went to the window. There was a