face and rocked back and forth on the bench.
Emma…my baby…my darling little girl.
Something touched her knee. Through tear-filled eyes, she saw a small, dimpled hand, so sweet and perfect.
But not her Emma 's.
She had to put some space between her and this child, so she ran to the door, flung it open and slammed right into a wall.
Someone gripped her shoulders .
Blinded by grief, she struggled to get free. Misery overwhelmed her, causing her insides to churn. She needed to get away. Fast. She gathered enough strength to shove the barrier out of her way and ran to the railing on the deck. She leaned over and emptied her stomach on the bushes below.
" No tears, Livy," she mumbled. "No tears. The past is that, gone forever ."
But it didn 't feel that way to her.
She squeezed her eyes shut. She would give her life if she could hold her little girl one more time. To smell her hair, kiss her soft ch eeks. A sob escaped as tears streamed down her face.
You are starting over. You have to .
She was still bent over the railing when a cool hand touched the nape of her neck. A cup of water was placed in front of her.
" Drink," John said.
Her heart raced. How long had he been there? Had he heard her? Afraid to look at him, she kept her eyes down and picked up the glass. She took a sip, hoping it wouldn't come back up.
" Motion sickness," she lied to him again. "I…I get motion sickness."
" Uh huh."
He didn't believe her?
She glanced up at him, her hair free from the braid hanging in her eyes.
" It is a bumpy ride." He smoothed a loose strand behind her ear. "I'll be in the kitchen when you're ready to come in."
When he disappeared inside the house, relief washed over her . She leaned against the wall and sipped the water. She hadn't expected John's daughter to affect her like that.
" What did you expect?" she muttered.
If she were to live here, she had to find a way to be comfortable around the girl.
She took a few deep breaths, patted her hair into place and strode toward the door.
If she were lucky, she wouldn't see the child again for a while.
CHAPTER TWO
She found John seated at the kitchen table. Well over six feet tall, with wide shoulders and a muscled chest, he made the spacious room seem smaller. She pulled her gaze from his body, and did a quick scan for his daughter. She couldn't help the sigh that escaped when the child was nowhere to be seen.
" I poured you a cup of coffee."He slid the tin cup in her direction. "Can't say that it's hot, but I'm used to that."
H e shrugged and his mouth tilted upwards in a half smile.
His eyes followed her as she placed the cup she 'd been holding on the side counter. Hands shaking, she pulled the chair back to take a seat across from him.
" Thank you," she said softly, and cradled the mug of coffee between her hands.
He was right. It wasn 't hot, but it was warm and she squeezed the cup a little harder. She couldn't keep her eyes from wandering about the neat and tidy kitchen, so unlike the saloon kitchens where she worked.
The window above the wash basin was open to allow the hot breeze to flow through, and the white lace curtains added a woman 's touch. It was a small window, but it let the sun in to brighten the room.
The long wooden table they were seated at was in t he middle of the room and appeared to be made by hand, John's no doubt. A cook stove stood against one wall and an icebox occupied part of the opposite wall. She took a deep breath and could smell a mixture of lilacs, coffee, and man.
This was to be her new home. A new life, and even if she didn't want to be here, even if she wanted to bolt for the front door and run far up into the mountains she saw earlier, she couldn't. She had to stay. She had to be kind. She had to smile. Livy hadn't smiled―really smiled―since before Emma died. Her stomach pitched, and she took a deep, shaky breath .
Breathe, in, out. You can do this .
She didn 't have a choice. It was either this, or go
Emma…my baby…my darling little girl.
Something touched her knee. Through tear-filled eyes, she saw a small, dimpled hand, so sweet and perfect.
But not her Emma 's.
She had to put some space between her and this child, so she ran to the door, flung it open and slammed right into a wall.
Someone gripped her shoulders .
Blinded by grief, she struggled to get free. Misery overwhelmed her, causing her insides to churn. She needed to get away. Fast. She gathered enough strength to shove the barrier out of her way and ran to the railing on the deck. She leaned over and emptied her stomach on the bushes below.
" No tears, Livy," she mumbled. "No tears. The past is that, gone forever ."
But it didn 't feel that way to her.
She squeezed her eyes shut. She would give her life if she could hold her little girl one more time. To smell her hair, kiss her soft ch eeks. A sob escaped as tears streamed down her face.
You are starting over. You have to .
She was still bent over the railing when a cool hand touched the nape of her neck. A cup of water was placed in front of her.
" Drink," John said.
Her heart raced. How long had he been there? Had he heard her? Afraid to look at him, she kept her eyes down and picked up the glass. She took a sip, hoping it wouldn't come back up.
" Motion sickness," she lied to him again. "I…I get motion sickness."
" Uh huh."
He didn't believe her?
She glanced up at him, her hair free from the braid hanging in her eyes.
" It is a bumpy ride." He smoothed a loose strand behind her ear. "I'll be in the kitchen when you're ready to come in."
When he disappeared inside the house, relief washed over her . She leaned against the wall and sipped the water. She hadn't expected John's daughter to affect her like that.
" What did you expect?" she muttered.
If she were to live here, she had to find a way to be comfortable around the girl.
She took a few deep breaths, patted her hair into place and strode toward the door.
If she were lucky, she wouldn't see the child again for a while.
CHAPTER TWO
She found John seated at the kitchen table. Well over six feet tall, with wide shoulders and a muscled chest, he made the spacious room seem smaller. She pulled her gaze from his body, and did a quick scan for his daughter. She couldn't help the sigh that escaped when the child was nowhere to be seen.
" I poured you a cup of coffee."He slid the tin cup in her direction. "Can't say that it's hot, but I'm used to that."
H e shrugged and his mouth tilted upwards in a half smile.
His eyes followed her as she placed the cup she 'd been holding on the side counter. Hands shaking, she pulled the chair back to take a seat across from him.
" Thank you," she said softly, and cradled the mug of coffee between her hands.
He was right. It wasn 't hot, but it was warm and she squeezed the cup a little harder. She couldn't keep her eyes from wandering about the neat and tidy kitchen, so unlike the saloon kitchens where she worked.
The window above the wash basin was open to allow the hot breeze to flow through, and the white lace curtains added a woman 's touch. It was a small window, but it let the sun in to brighten the room.
The long wooden table they were seated at was in t he middle of the room and appeared to be made by hand, John's no doubt. A cook stove stood against one wall and an icebox occupied part of the opposite wall. She took a deep breath and could smell a mixture of lilacs, coffee, and man.
This was to be her new home. A new life, and even if she didn't want to be here, even if she wanted to bolt for the front door and run far up into the mountains she saw earlier, she couldn't. She had to stay. She had to be kind. She had to smile. Livy hadn't smiled―really smiled―since before Emma died. Her stomach pitched, and she took a deep, shaky breath .
Breathe, in, out. You can do this .
She didn 't have a choice. It was either this, or go
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