Caught in Crystal: A Lyra Novel

Caught in Crystal: A Lyra Novel Read Free Page B

Book: Caught in Crystal: A Lyra Novel Read Free
Author: Patricia Collins Wrede
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arrived in time for spring cleaning,” Maurin observed as they threaded their way through the crowd.
    A shout from the doorway ahead spared Har from responding to this obvious comment. A “Har!” someone shouted, and then a tall girl with pale gold braids hanging down nearly to her knees ran forward to throw her arms around the young noble. “Har, you’re back!” she exclaimed.
    “Just barely,” laughed Har, swinging her off her feet in a wide circle. “We came straight here as soon as the caravan got in.” He set her gently back on her feet and turned. “Maurin, this is my sister, Alethia.”
    “I am charmed,” Maurin said, bending low over Alethia’s hand. Privately he thought that The introduction was nearly unnecessary; there was no mistaking those tilted green eyes and straight black eyebrows. Alethia was clearly Har’s sister.
    Alethia returned his courtesy absently, then and linked arms with her brother as they started again toward the house. “I’m so glad you got back in time for my party,” she said as they mounted the stairs. “ But you could have sent some kind of warning, couldn’t you?”
    “Party?” Har said blankly with studied blankness .
    Alethia laughed. “You don’t even remember! I’m twenty tomorrow; it today is my birth eve.”
    “Well, I didn’t forget entirely,” Har said. “I got something at our last stop in Karlen Gale. I’ll give it to you tonight, after I’ve unpacked.”
    Maurin smothered a grin. When the caravan had stopped in Karlen Gale, Har had spent two precious hours of his free afternoon hunting for exactly the right gift for his sister’s birth eve party, and he had fretted ever since for fear they wouldn’t arrive in time.
    “Thank you in advance—I think!” Alethia replied.
    The conversation about the birthday present is… flat. The revised version has a lot more characterization for Har, adds characterization for Maurin, and by giving Maurin’s reaction, makes it a third-person viewpoint.
    Then, turning Alethia turned to Maurin she and added, “ You will You’ll come to the party join us too, won’t you?”
    Caught by surprise, Maurin hesitated. He hadn’t anticipated being asked to any formal feasts…
    “ It won’t be more than dinner and songs, really; the Lords Armin and Gahlon are coming at the end of the week to talk to Father, and it would be hard to have two large feasts so close together.” ,” Alethia said, almost as if she could read his mind. “But if you’d rather not—”
    “Of course he’ll come,” Har said. “He’s staying for a week, at least.”
    Once again, I added Maurin’s reactions; I also trimmed Alethia’s dialogue to make it sound more natural (“You’ll” instead of “You will,” for instance). I then took out the long and rather clumsy lead-in to the awkward and unnecessary conversation I deleted below.
    “So that is why there is so much cleaning going on!” Har exclaimed. “What do Armin and Gahlon want to talk to Father for?”
    His sister smiled mischievously. “I’m not supposed to know, so you’d better ask him. Something about the Lithmern raids, I think,” she added innocently.
    “But the raids have practically stopped!” Har said.
    “I know,” said Alethia, and grinned again. “You must tell me all about it after he explains to you.”
    “What makes you think he will?” Har countered.
    “Well, aside from being his son and heir, you’ve just come back from three months with the caravans, haven’t you? And your last stop was Karlen Gale, which is the only Free City anywhere near Lithra. So if Father wants to know about the Lithmern, who else would he talk to?”
    “Staying for a week?” Alethia frowned. “Then one of you will have to sleep in the south tower; Father will want the north one for the Lords Armin and Gahlon, and—”
    “Lord Armin and First Lord Gahlon are coming here? Together?”
    “At the end of the week,” Alethia said, nodding. “And I’m not

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