Catalyst Read Free Page B

to make it look like nothing had happened, but I had never checked it afterward.
    “You don’t look very sure …”
    “You know I haven’t been back! Can we please be done with this conversation? Handle Seasons 23 with Josephine. I’ll still go over all the necessary office work for it, but damn, can I go home now?” My head hurts, the alcohol is flowing freely, and all I want to do is lie in the fetal position until I pass out.
    “I have just a few more things to clean up and then I’ll be ready.” He shakes his head and walks away from me to the other end of the bar.
    “I could call Shannon to pick me up.” I mope. I don’t want her to come pick me up because I know she won’t take me home. The look Noah gives me tells me he knows this too. I chuckle at how protective he’s become over me since Liam died.
    While Shannon is one of my best friends, she’s been trying to cheer me up and distract me from thoughts of Liam. I love her to death and she has my best interests at heart, but I’m just not ready for anything social right now. I need alcohol and my bed.
    “If you get Shannon in the equation, I’ll have no idea where to tell the police to look when you go missing. That girl is thirty-five going on seventeen. I mean who goes to strip clubs anymore? And don’t say bachelorette-”
    “Bachelorette parties.” I finish for him because really, those were the only groups of women there the last time she dragged me to one. We were the minority, and once the, ahem, men found out we weren’t part of one of the parties then they paid us no attention. That is until Shannon paid for a private dance in the corner and bit one of the guy’s nipples after stuffing a twenty down his underwear. She’s a mom who still likes to live a little, and I can’t blame her for that.
    Having to choose between Noah and Shannon, I’ll go for the one who will get me to bed the quickest without questions. Thankfully, Noah knows his boundaries and knows my need for solitude.
    On the drive home, it’s quiet. It’s a nice reprieve from the day, and I close my eyes, losing myself in my thoughts. My life feels so temporary right now. Not knowing where I belong and not having anyone to go home to really blows. The moment is ruined as I feel eyes on me.
    “What?” I call out, not moving or opening my eyes. We’re at a red light.
    “Do you think you need to talk to someone about all this?” Noah cautiously asks. I grind my teeth as I try to hold back what I really want to say.
    “I talk to you. I talk to Shannon. I talk to Liam, sorta.” I look up as if he’s looking down at me and shaking his head in shame. “I’m dealing the best I know how. I know you’re just trying to look out for me, but I need more time. I’m still going through the what are they called, seven stages of loss?”
    “Five,” he corrects me.
    “Huh?” I look up and can see the stress radiating from him. For being behind a bar all day, he’s built like a runner. Lean and all muscle. His eyes, though—he can’t hide his feelings from me.
    “Five stages of loss.”
    “Oh. Well, yeah, I’m doing my own thing, okay? I kinda like being alone anyway. It gives me time to think and process the hell that’s going on around me.”
    “You have a support system. We’re here when you need it. Promise you’ll go to someone if you need it.”
    “Pinky promise.”
    That earns me a big smile. Crisis averted.

Tinsley
     
    Four months later
    SHANNON HAS BEEN looking up men on a dating website, swiping left and right on her phone, all in an attempt to find someone to fill my time this weekend. Sipping my Diet Coke on the couch, I am fascinated with how quickly she can veto or approve someone, just by seeing one photo.
    Her facial expressions tell me all I need to know about each man she has swiped into the trash pile. Poor guys, they really never stood a chance, but my curiosity is piqued by who she deemed worthy. She can’t know this, though.
    “Yes!