Carnal Isræl: Reading Sex in Talmudic Culture Read Free Page B

studying Torah! In general, however, women are held to be in the category of virtually powerless people who need to be dealt with in a solicitous fashion. Thus, in a talmudic passage dealing with the ineluctable moral power that wronged people have when they pray to God, most of the examples deal with the treatment of wives by husbands:
Said Rav: A man should always be careful not to grieve his wife, for since her tears are nigh, [the punishment for] her grief is nigh.
Rabbi El'azar said: From the day that the Temple was destroyed, the gates of prayer have been shut, as it says: Even though I call out and shout, he shut out my prayer [Lamentations 3:8]. But even though the gates of prayer were locked, the gates of tears were not locked, as it says: Hear my prayer, O God; listen to my supplication. Do not be silent [in the face of] my tears [Psalms 39:13].
(Baba Metsia 59a)
Wives are represented as virtually powerless creatures, whose only weapon is tearstears which, to be sure, guarantee an automatic divine response. It is nevertheless the case, however, that the force of this discourse, far from authorizing men to mistreat women as their property, is rather to encourage men to be very solicitous (even patronizing) of women. The text goes on:
And Rav [also] said: He who follows the advice of his wife, will fall into Hell, for it says: But there was none like Ahab, who gave himself over to do what was evil in the sight of the Lord, as Jezebel his wife had incited him [1 Kings 21:25].

 
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But, said Rav Pappa to Abayye: Don't the people say, "If your wife is short, bend down and whisper with her"?!
There is no difficulty; one case refers to worldly matters and the other to domestic matters, or some say, one case refers to heavenly matters and the other to worldly matters.
The same Rav who just above produced a strong statement and a strong incentive for husbands not to cause their wives tears, now equally as strongly counsels them to ignore their wives' advice. Here is an almost perfect emblem of a benignly patronizing formation. On the other hand, this latter statement is challenged by Rav Pappa, and, interestingly, the challenge comes from a popular proverb that indicates that a man should pay very great attention to what his wife is saying. The two resolutions that the Talmud provides for the apparent contradiction are themselves instructive, as one gives the wife voice only in domestic matters, while the other gives her voice in all secular issues, only constricting her from having anything to say about religious issues. Although we will see some breaks in this pattern in following chapters, this structure is emblematic of rabbinic gender discourse. Women are rendered nearly powerless, and then the Rabbis, the very same ones who (as Rav here) produced the discourse of male domination, ameliorate its effects somewhat by inducing men not to take advantage of their wives' powerlessness and, indeed, to be highly solicitous of them. The same pattern obtains with regard to sexual practice as well.
Male Desire
In the Babylonian Talmud Nedarim 20ab, we find the following very famous text in which the question of "how sex is put into discourse" is thematized directly. What is usually claimed to be the site par excellence of rabbinic repression of sexual practice even within marriage will be read as its exact opposite:
It has been taught: In order that His fear shall be upon you [Exod. 20:20]This is modesty. In order that you not sin [ibid.]teaches that modesty conduces to the fear of sin. From hence they said: It is a good sign about a person that he [or she] is modest. Others say: Anyone who is modest does not quickly sin, and as for one who does not have modesty of demeanor, this is a sign that his ancestors did not stand at Mt. Sinai.
Rabbi Yohanan the son of Dabai saidThe Ministering Angels told me:

 
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