the opposite. I had to. Maybe some part of him realized my avoidance policy wasn't entirely heartfelt? Of course, my life was difficult in so many ways he didn't understand at the time, and Katy Grebling was the least of it. I was grateful for the groceries he bought me that night, but I was also horribly ashamed. Looking anyone in the eye was difficult for me, let alone the gorgeous boy who had witnessed my poverty first-hand.
Nevertheless, he continued to sit beside me in history class, much to Katy's chagrin. As the days passed his manner changed too, at least when he spoke to me. He lost a little of his youthful bluster and started leaning in close to me, talking more quietly than I could tell he was used to. Such small gestures, and yet they mattered so much to me. One day, with Katy absent, I worked up the courage to ask him what the ubiquitous bottle of greenish-beige goo was that he seemed to have with him at all times.
He chuckled at my question and sharp little thrill ran through my body at the sound of his laughter.
"It's a protein drink."
"A protein drink?"
"Yeah. I'm on a special diet for hockey. Low carbs, high protein. You wouldn't believe how many eggs I eat."
"Does it taste good?"
I glanced at Cade as he theatrically pondered my question, almost afraid to meet his piercing blue eyes and then flushed with a strange warmth when I finally did.
"No, not really. It's supposed to be chocolate flavor but it mostly tastes like nothing. Do you want to try it?"
The word 'no' was on the tip of my tongue before I remembered Katy wasn't in class that day and decided to throw caution to the wind. Something about Cade, maybe it was just his presence, made me bolder than usual.
"Uh, sure."
I was very conscious of his eyes on me - on my lips - as I lifted the bottle to my mouth and took a small, tentative sip. It wasn't bad at all. In fact, it was pretty damned good. I took another, larger sip and then, realizing what I was doing, pulled away as my cheeks started to burn.
"Ellie, have the whole thing if you want. I don't even want it. Just don't tell Coach Hansen. He's really goddamned strict."
It took real effort not to gulp the protein drink down as fast as I could but I managed to make it last for a few minutes, desperate to conceal how hungry I was from Cade. For the rest of class I was floating on a little cloud of simple happiness. It was nothing, really. A shared drink. So why did it feel so momentous? Why was I so thrilled? It took me a long time - years - to figure out just what it had been about Cade that made me feel so good when I was with him. It was the feeling of being cared for. Of having another human being concerned for you, even in tiny, everyday ways. I knew it was something that happened, that most people experienced as normal, but I had never actually experienced it myself. Not until Cade. After class that day he took off his jacket and draped it over my shoulders.
"You look cold. Can I walk you home?"
I panicked. I wanted him to walk me home, but I didn't want him to see where I lived.
"I - uh, I...I'm not sure." I said, lamely.
"You live out by the tracks, don't you?"
I nodded and then Cade said something that gave me one of my first hints at the man he was going to become, something that surprised me in its sensitivity.
"Are you embarrassed Ellie? You don't have to be embarrassed about where you live, you know. I want to walk you home."
I let Cade walk me home, along the crumbling sidewalks of the rough side of town. We chatted the whole way. He asked me if I had any siblings.
"Yeah, I have three little brothers."
"Three? Really? How old are they?"
I told him how old my brothers were and I told him their names.
"How about you?"
"I'm an only child. So I'm their only chance at glory."
He was laughing as he said that, but I sensed something deeper going on underneath.
"Really? What do you mean you're their only chance at glory?"
Cade looked down and kicked a chunk of loose
Nevertheless, he continued to sit beside me in history class, much to Katy's chagrin. As the days passed his manner changed too, at least when he spoke to me. He lost a little of his youthful bluster and started leaning in close to me, talking more quietly than I could tell he was used to. Such small gestures, and yet they mattered so much to me. One day, with Katy absent, I worked up the courage to ask him what the ubiquitous bottle of greenish-beige goo was that he seemed to have with him at all times.
He chuckled at my question and sharp little thrill ran through my body at the sound of his laughter.
"It's a protein drink."
"A protein drink?"
"Yeah. I'm on a special diet for hockey. Low carbs, high protein. You wouldn't believe how many eggs I eat."
"Does it taste good?"
I glanced at Cade as he theatrically pondered my question, almost afraid to meet his piercing blue eyes and then flushed with a strange warmth when I finally did.
"No, not really. It's supposed to be chocolate flavor but it mostly tastes like nothing. Do you want to try it?"
The word 'no' was on the tip of my tongue before I remembered Katy wasn't in class that day and decided to throw caution to the wind. Something about Cade, maybe it was just his presence, made me bolder than usual.
"Uh, sure."
I was very conscious of his eyes on me - on my lips - as I lifted the bottle to my mouth and took a small, tentative sip. It wasn't bad at all. In fact, it was pretty damned good. I took another, larger sip and then, realizing what I was doing, pulled away as my cheeks started to burn.
"Ellie, have the whole thing if you want. I don't even want it. Just don't tell Coach Hansen. He's really goddamned strict."
It took real effort not to gulp the protein drink down as fast as I could but I managed to make it last for a few minutes, desperate to conceal how hungry I was from Cade. For the rest of class I was floating on a little cloud of simple happiness. It was nothing, really. A shared drink. So why did it feel so momentous? Why was I so thrilled? It took me a long time - years - to figure out just what it had been about Cade that made me feel so good when I was with him. It was the feeling of being cared for. Of having another human being concerned for you, even in tiny, everyday ways. I knew it was something that happened, that most people experienced as normal, but I had never actually experienced it myself. Not until Cade. After class that day he took off his jacket and draped it over my shoulders.
"You look cold. Can I walk you home?"
I panicked. I wanted him to walk me home, but I didn't want him to see where I lived.
"I - uh, I...I'm not sure." I said, lamely.
"You live out by the tracks, don't you?"
I nodded and then Cade said something that gave me one of my first hints at the man he was going to become, something that surprised me in its sensitivity.
"Are you embarrassed Ellie? You don't have to be embarrassed about where you live, you know. I want to walk you home."
I let Cade walk me home, along the crumbling sidewalks of the rough side of town. We chatted the whole way. He asked me if I had any siblings.
"Yeah, I have three little brothers."
"Three? Really? How old are they?"
I told him how old my brothers were and I told him their names.
"How about you?"
"I'm an only child. So I'm their only chance at glory."
He was laughing as he said that, but I sensed something deeper going on underneath.
"Really? What do you mean you're their only chance at glory?"
Cade looked down and kicked a chunk of loose
Similar Books
Falling Into You
Maureen Smith
Hard Rain Falling (Walking in the Rain Book 3)
William Allen
A Mother's Wish
Debbie Macomber
Zero Sum
B. Justin Shier
7 Never Haunt a Historian
Edie Claire
First Love
Ivan Turgenev
Return to Thebes
Allen Drury
Prelude for a Lord
Camille Elliot
The Last Card
Kolton Lee
The Unearthing
Steve Karmazenuk, Christine Williston