Breeding Ground Read Free Page A

was an awkwardness in the air and I wasn’t sure exactly why.
    “Well, I hope she feels better soon. Give her my love.”
    “Yes. And to Chloe. See you tomorrow.”
    Opening the back door, I stepped into the drizzle, the ghost of the downpour not long past. “You will.”
     
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    I considered buying flowers on the way home, but figured that would be extreme blokeism in Chloe’s eyes and so decided on nothing. If she was feeling up for it, I’d get her a takeaway, or just cook her some soup. I just hoped that nasty anger was gone. It had had a tinge of hate in it, I was sure, and unwell as she was, I didn’t want her to hate me. Selfish that might have been, but then all lovers are selfish.
    I found her in the bathroom, under the glaring white light, standing on the scales and sobbing, hugging herself. Her tears were coming thick and fast, and as I appeared in the doorway, she literally fell into my arms, burying her head into my shoulder, soaking it. Her crying was coming from deep down in her chest, really terrible tears, and I squeezed her tight. What now? What now?
    “What is it? What’s the matter, Chloe?” Her matted hair smelt sweaty as I pressed my face into her neck. I thought of the baby. Had something happened to the baby during the day? Why hadn’t I come home for lunch? Oh god, what had I done?
    Her voice was thick. “I’ve put on a stone. A stone in two weeks. That’s nearly three stone in the past two months.”
    Tensing slightly, I was shocked. I knew she’d put on weight, but I hadn’t guessed nearly that much. That was about the amount all the baby books said she should put on in total, and she was only a third of the way through. Jesus. But still, I rationalised as I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves, it didn’t mean anything. Maybe her body was just settling down. Maybe from now on, some of the excess weight would drop off. More than anything I just wanted her to calm down. I caught sight of myself in the mirror. Short
     
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    blond hair and wide, frightened blue eyes above a tight mouth. Who was I kidding? I was as confused and scared as she was. Or nearly. I rubbed her arms and back.
    “Well, you are eating for two, babe. You’re bound to put on weight.” It was lame, but it was the only thing I could think of to say. I didn’t expect her reaction, the mix of laughter and tears that poured out of her. She stepped back from me, shaking as the fits of emotion took her.
    God, I felt useless. She seemed like a stranger in front of me, and I wanted it to stop.
    “What? What is it?”
    I knew that whatever it was that was making her laugh so hysterically, it wasn’t going to be funny, and for a small fraction of a second, I wished she’d never got pregnant, I wished we could just go back to how it was before and I wished I didn’t have to hear her dreadful desperate laughter through her tears. It wasn’t normal. It wasn’t natural. And I couldn’t deal with it.
    Slowly, she calmed down and wiped her eyes, her breathing irregular. A last giggle escaped before she met my gaze.
    “That’s priceless, Matt. Eating for two. Oh, that’s funny.” She paused and sighed, rubbing fresh tears away with the sleeve of her dressing gown, leaning back against the sink.
    “I haven’t eaten anything for over a week. Not a single thing.” A tragic laugh hiccupped out of her. “And I haven’t even been hungry.”
    My legs were like jelly beneath me. What had she said? I could almost feel the colour draining from my face, my hands instantly cold.
    She looked at me almost pityingly and whispered,
     
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    “So how can I still be putting on weight? How can that be? How can that be?”
    We stared at each other for what seemed like hours, and in that moment we were closer than we’d been in a while. Both just looking and wondering if this was the thing, the thing that was going to end us, finally arrived. I bit my cheek to stop myself from crying. I looked at her face,